Trusting Me
by PyroDragon2006
Summary: Sequel to Becoming Me. John must deal with the changes brought on by Allie, as well as confront a haunting piece of his own past. Mainly John's POV, though occasionally others. Rated T for strong language, violence, and a pyscopath.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I certainly don't own or profit from Stargate Atlantis. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes only!

**Trusting Me**

Author's Note: First, this is the sequel to my first story, Becoming Me. It's set in Season 2, so everything up to the season finale is fair game for being mentioned, especially Critical Mass. Thanks to all the awesome feedback last time, a sequel has come to mind, though I'm posting as its written this time, so it'll probably be up to a week between parts. Special thanks to a suggestion by Krows Scared, who pushed me to write outside my comfort zone! This is a busy time for my beta (My sister, without whom this never would have happened!) and me, so we'll see how it goes. As always, reviews and suggestions are appreciated!

Thoughts are in italics, and Allie's comments are in 'single quotation'.

Chapter 1: Not Again! John's POV

"Just dial the damned gate!"

I didn't bother to hide my fatigue and annoyance, even though I knew McKay was just as tired and ten times as irritable. This mission had been a complete farce from start to finish, and I wanted nothing more then to crawl into bed and sleep for at least a day. Not that I had a chance in hell of actually _doing _that. Unfortunately, my team genius didn't seem to be in a similar hurry. Instead, he was on his back in the mud, head stuck into the DHD, which he _should _have been dialing. Just then, his balding head popped out, shooting me an exhausted glare.

"Unless you _want _to wind up back in time or in another galaxy, you'll give me a minute to check this!" At my blank look, Rodney's eyes rolled. "Lightning! Massive energy charges hitting the gate and doing all _kinds _of fun things!"

Red face, eyes round with fatigue and disgust, topped by a glare that dared any of us to comment further. Yep, McKay was in _great_ shape. Throttling back my urge to throttle _him_, I just gave a weary wave of acceptance and turned my regard to my other two team members. We all looked like drowned rats, really, even the seemingly unflappable former runner, Ronon. It was just supposed to have been a nice, easy reconnaissance, looking for a back-up to the Alpha site, just in case.

However, we were SGA-1, and _nothing _could _ever_ be that easy for us, especially since the last five weeks of missions had all been calm. After all, we had to keep up the grand tradition of SG-1, right? Make the simplest missions impossibly complicated, give the brass plenty of headaches over our bizarre close calls, find trouble without meaning to, and end with yet another trip to the infirmary for one or more of the team.

In this case, it was an anomalous reading that had us trekking for several hours, only to be caught by a sudden severe thunderstorm. With no possible shelter anywhere nearby, of course. This entire planet seemed to be on endless, hilly plain, which made for a sleepless night huddled in the lowest spot we could find. Then came morning and the trek _back_ to the gate, made three times longer by continuing rain, McKay's mouth, and a nasty wind. Blowing right in our faces, of course.

_Gee, John, how could you ever forget all this fun?_

"McKay..." A low, rumbling growl.

"Fine! Here we go!" Rodney's hand started slamming down on symbols, a move that would have landed anyone else in deep trouble with the astrophysicist. I was just too tired to call him on it, though.

_If he breaks it, I get to kill him. Then Ronon and Teyla get to kill him. Then..._

Thankfully, my mental plans were interrupted by the reassuring whoosh of the wormhole opening, just as it was supposed to. It only took a minute for me to tap in my IDC code and all four of us, soaked, cold, exhausted, covered in mud, trooped through...

Straight into chaos.

I barely had time to register the dancing lighting, random door movements, and sirens before I was dropped to the floor by pure emotion. Joy, anger, fear, frustration, panic... Wave after wave, almost faster then I could identify them, along with the needle sharp pain that stabbed right through my skull, making movement impossible.

"Not again! Allie...!" It came out as a moaning plea, darkness claiming me before I could say anything else.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Sheppard Troubles Elizabeth's POV

Twenty Minutes Earlier on Atlantis...

I leaned back in my desk chair with a frustrated sigh, massaging a pounding head. It was the fourth time I'd read the same sentence, and it didn't make any more sense this time then it had the first. I really should have known better then to believe I'd get any work done with _them_ almost thirty hours overdue. Even knowing that the planet they were exploring was in the midst of a nasty thunderstorm and was probably the cause didn't help, since for SGA-1, even an _uninhabited_ planet could prove dangerous... It also meant that we couldn't communicate with them, couldn't send a jumper to go get them, could do nothing but sit and wait. A skill that as an international negotiator I used to be quite good at, but that I'd rather quickly begun to lose after meeting one Major John Sheppard...

_Hell! What **is **it with that man and nature in this galaxy? Bugs, trees, now another storm!_

"Elizabeth, luv..." Dr. Carson Beckett's soft voice brought my head up. "I hate ta put this on you, but...the wee lass. She won't listen to anyone. Havin' random doors slammed in people's faces is makin' it hard to work..."

At the doctor's words, my computer screen blinked, and reappeared with two words, written over and over.

'I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry...'

Allie. The little girl/computer program created by Atlantis' central computer for reasons that still weren't quite clear to me. But then, what could one expect when dealing with a 10,000 year old not quite sentient alien city that doubled as an intergalactic space craft? Not that John had been very forthcoming in explaining it. The man had actually seemed to be _embarrassed_! Oh, the potential for razzing in _that _one! I had spent a lot of the three months since Allie had made her presence known to us getting to know the child. And she _was _a child, as strange as that seemed. When I bought it up, I was tartly informed that all humans start as children so they can learn to be human, so why shouldn't she? I had found that Allie was really rather sweet, curious, and very eager to please. _Most _of the time. Unfortunately, her child-like characteristics included very human emotions, including the occasional temper tantrum when things didn't go her way. When the being in question could effect the non-vital operating systems of an entire _city_, the results could be..._spectacular._

"If you're sorry, then why are you doing it?" Meeting Carson's worried gaze, I addressed thin air, no longer even feeling awkward about it. Allie could 'hear' through Atlantis' systems, but could only respond via the computer text. At least, with most of us. My screen blanked again.

'I'm scared. He's late and so many things can happen... I don't mean to make things go crazy, I just kinda over react. I'm sorry, Dr. Weir.'

"Ach, poor lass... It's all right."

Carson's murmur echoed within my own emotions, and my original anger with the child vanished. Mostly because this little girl didn't have the luxury of childhood innocence. Allie knew all too well how dangerous life in this galaxy could be for the man she had adopted as her primary role model, her 'parent'. Whose team, for the first time in the child's experience, was overdue.

_This could make for an excellent sit-com. Raising Atlantis. Only no one would **ever** believe it! Besides, who could they get to play John Sheppard? Richard Dean Anderson? No, too old and he preferred playing characters from his home state of Minnesota. He'd be perfect for General O'Neill, though... Maybe Joe Flanigan?_

A gentle nudge of my arm jerked me from my wild speculations. "Elizabeth? Are you okay?"

Carson, kneeling next to my chair, concern written all over his face.

"Sorry, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Guess I must have fogged out."

_Damn you, John Sheppard!_

My friend and doctor's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "If this continues-"

Saved by the alarm. Someone activating the Stargate from off-world brought us both to our feet, previous problems forgotten for the moment. Without another word, we both headed out of my office to the control balcony. I cast an expectant look at the young technician manning the main console.

He instantly gave me a relieved smile. "Reading Colonel Sheppard's IDC, Ma'am."

"About time. Let them in."

A minute later, four bedraggled, dripping, mud covered figures emerged from the event horizon...

And the Control Room went haywire. Lights, doors, computers,coms, alarms...all activated randomly.

"Allie! Control yourself!" I snapped, turning to hurry after Carson down the stairs, only to see one of the figures suddenly collapse like a puppet whose strings had been cut.

My gut knotted up. I had no doubt as to which team member had just gone down. I barely registered Carson's terse call for his medical team over the com as I sharply looked to the other SGA-1 members, checking for visual signs of injury.

"What happened?"

Not surprisingly, Rodney immediately spoke up. Which was actually good, since a silent Dr. Rodney McKay only meant one thing. Big trouble.

"We decided on the scenic tour complete with cataclysmic thunderstorms, no shelter, and freezing rain! Now I'm back just in time for a lovely bout of pneumonia that'll probably kill me! We're exhausted and need showers, so you'll excuse me if I leave the mud puddle on your nice clean floor. Carson! Wait up!"

Rodney limped after the departing gurney carrying John, not bothering to wait for my reply. Teyla and Ronon, at least, hesitated to receive my quick nod before following after. Short, sharp, vague, and very impolite when addressing your boss, but at least I had gotten an answer. What _had _they gotten into this time? The sudden silence in the room had me glancing around in shock. When had Allie stopped her antics? With another frustrated sigh and a wave at the technician, I headed after the departed team, being careful to step around the globs of mud.

It didn't take me long to reach the infirmary, but by the time that I arrived, I could see a cluster of medical personnel around only one bed. No signs of the other three.

"Dr. Weir?"

"Dr. Kirran, where...?" I gestured toward the empty exam stations.

The doctor, a petite steel-gray haired woman barely five feet tall, smiled reassuringly. "They all promised me they were just cold and dirty, so I sent them to the showers to start warming up first. Carson's with our favorite colonel right now. I'll let him know you're waiting, not that he couldn't guess."

She patted my arm and moved away with a twinkle in her eye. Bethany Kirran knew all about being a mother hen, or so she'd told me late one night while watching over John yet again. At least with her, I wouldn't have to worry about any crazy rumors starting.

_It's hard enough running this place without my second looking over his shoulder all the time because of some nosy overactive imaginations. Honestly, hasn't anyone heard of a solid friendship anymore? I **definitely** need to get more sleep tonight!_

"Elizabeth? Heard anything?" Turning, I was confronted by a clean Rodney, Teyla, and Ronon.

"Nothing yet. Did any of you know he was injured?" Surprised looks met my question. "I'll take that as a no."

_Stubborn idiot. Makes a Gou'ld look agreeable!_

"That's because he's not." Carson put a hand on my shoulder in mute apology as I startled at his voice right behind me. "He should be fine with a good night's rest. The wee lass seems to have gotten a touch over-exuberant with her greetin'. The colonel was already exhausted and dehydrated, so it was just too much. I'll keep an eye on him tonight, but I donna see any reason he won't be able to return to his duties in the mornin'. Now, let's see about the rest o' you..."

Rodney immediately grimaced and I braced myself to deal with his attitude yet again. I was tempted to smack him, I was so tired.

"Carson, I really just want to get some sleep and- Wait a minute! Did you just say Sheppard is _dehydrated_! How do you get dehydrated when you've been constantly soaked for two days straight? I swear, that man is contrary by nature..."

My tension melted into a relieved smile as Rodney's rambling speculations into the nature of his team leader continued even as he was led off to an exam area by the firm grip of Dr. Kirran. Carson just shook his head, then turned to Teyla and Ronon.

"Why don't you two find a table an' I'll be right there. Elizabeth, you can peek in on him if ya like, he's asleep at the moment."

"Thanks, Carson."

A low headache still throbbing, I headed for the corner bed I'd seen everyone around earlier. For John, it was relatively uncluttered. No ventilator, no heart monitor, only one IV running... He was pale, but clean, and sleeping peacefully under several blankets, head turned toward me on the pillow. I resisted the urge to stroke the black hair, knowing it might wake him, and wished once again that I could ease some of the burden that this man carried even in his sleep. I couldn't imagine a better friend, a better confidant. If he hadn't been there these last two years... I shook my head, chiding myself for that thought.

_Don't go there, Elizabeth. What ifs only cause trouble, as you already know._

There were an awful lot of what-ifs that were possible with this man, too, since he wasn't even known to me as more than a glorified taxi driver until the day he sat in the Antarctic control chair. Just what _had _made General O'Neill give a disgraced Major security clearance that day, anyway? Sometime I'd have to remember to ask him, especially since he'd sided with me in the fight over John's promotion to Lieutenant Colonel and assign him as permanent Atlantis military commander, too. General Hammond had been right on when he told me not to let the facade then Colonel O'Neill put up fool me into not looking deeper. Maybe he had been practice for dealing with John.

"Elizabeth..." Carson's quiet call brought me back from my contemplations of the enigma that was John Sheppard.

"Yes?" I turned with a rueful smile for being caught daydreaming _again_.

"I'm worried about the reactions he's havin' to the lass. He shouldna collapsed like that. Now, either he's not tellin' me somethin' or..."

_That_ set alarm bells going off in my head. The last time this had happened, the computer child had managed to actually get inside John's head and suppress his memories, afraid that he would leave Atlantis. It had turned out to be an absurd misunderstanding based on an angry comment of John's but...

"We'd better talk to both of them in the morning. Give me a call as soon as he wakes up, Carson. Are the others all right?"

"Aye. Nothin' but a few scrapes and bruises. They'll be fine with a good night's rest. Rodney didna even protest when I had someone escort him to his quarters so he wouldn't get caught up in his lab all night. Are you goin' ta tell John about the report Caldwell sent?"

I nodded. Damn. For a moment I had actually forgotten about that. With the amount of bad news I had for him, I was going to have one _very _unhappy man on my hands in the morning. There were times when running this place made playing mediator between India and Pakistan seem like a walk in the park. Unfortunately, this was shaping up to be one of those times. With an understanding smile, Carson pressed a small packet of aspirin into my hand.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Immovable Objects

The first thing I noticed upon awakening was the stillness. The second was that I was warm and dry. Cautiously, I opened my eyes, but the lights, for once, were already suitably dimmed.

"John?"

Teyla immediately appeared next to me, actually assisting me in to sit up for once instead of pushing me back down. But then, I didn't feel injured at all, either. Then why was I in the infirmary with a band-aid on my hand, looking suspiciously like an IV had been removed...?

_We were coming back through that storm... Oh. Allie's rather forceful welcome home. Crap._

"Colonel! Good to see ya awake! How are ya feelin'?"

My favorite Scottish doctor. Again. With a resigned sigh, I submitted to his checks. I'd certainly had enough practice at it lately.

"I'm good, Doc, really. No injuries, no headache, no missing memories..." I glanced around, then raised an eyebrow at Teyla. "Missing Rodney, though."

The astrophysicist was usually driving Carson nuts about now, thinking of excuses to stay until I woke up, proved to him I was once again alive despite what he called my 'insane tendency to attempt to become incurably maimed', and kicked him out. His non-presence tended to send alarms ringing through my head.

"He wasn't injured on the planet, was he? Because if he was and didn't tell me, I'll-"

Carson's amused snort and Teyla's shaking head immediately reassured me.

"It is past mid-day and he was becoming...irritable. Ronon has _escorted _him to the mess hall." Teyla smiled, mischief flashing in her eyes.

"Darn! I'd have liked to see _that _one!"

_How **had** I slept through it, anyhow? There must have been frantic yelling and growling involved!_

A laugh brought my head around toward the entrance. Elizabeth.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll hear all about it. The rest of Atlantis already has!" A rueful shake of her dark head. "Teyla, would you mind finding those two and telling them to stay put with a lunch for John? I need to speak with him for a moment, then I have no doubt he'll be wanting to join you."

At Elizabeth's words, Teyla looked automatically to Beckett, who nodded. "Certainly." With a soft touch on my arm, the Athosian woman was gone.

Leaving me to face the Bad News Duo. Whenever the two of them descended on me like this, it was _never _good. Bugs came immediately to mind. I settled back against the now raised head of the bed, crossed my arms, and gave them my best wry Sheppard grin.

"Well..."

Elizabeth put the computer notepad she was carrying on my bed table, giving me a sober look and I instantly knew.

"Allie."

"Yes. We need to speak with both of you about what happened in the gate room yesterday. John, Carson's very concerned about the level of physical reaction you had to her. So am I. Allie, are you listening? Can you tell us what happened?"

A child's scrawl appeared on the computer screen. 'I'm here. I'm really sorry, John. I lost control yesterday and I hurt you somehow. Not to mention making everybody mad at me. I'll do better next time, I promise!'

Elizabeth's features softened. "I'm not mad at you, Allie, though having everything going crazy like it was _is _a problem. It takes time to learn control, _especially _of emotions, and everyone understands that. Frankly, I'm more worried about the connection to John. I thought that once you stopped suppressing his memories several months ago, you two would no longer be so close."

She hit the nail on the head with that one. I wasn't overly fond of the idea of the headaches caused by the two of us emotionally feeding back on the other returning either. There weren't many things that could send me to my knees in pain with the naturally high threshold I had, but that was one. Besides, it meant more quality time with a certain Scot when I should be doing my job protecting Atlantis. The stretching silence brought my attention back to the here and now, only to find myself on the receiving end of two very pointed accusatory glares.

"Now, wait a minute! I didn't keep anything from either one of you this time! I haven't felt more than a passing brush of Allie's emotions in months!"

_This just isn't fair! I **hate **being accused of something when I'm actually innocent for once!_

'He's right. That one surprised me, too. It wasn't supposed to happen and I don't know how to fix it.'

Fear. Fear of rejection and guilt, filling me, so strong I felt tears pricking my eyes, threatening to fall. I tried to clamp down, hard, only to realize that there weren't _my _emotions _to _control. Then the pain hit. The familiar stab, like an ice pick through my head, and I closed my eyes, head thrusting back against the pillow, desperate to stay conscious. I felt hands, heard voices, but my focus was entirely on a certain little girl.

"Allie! Come on, _control._ It's okay, everything's okay!" I wasn't certain if I'd spoken that one aloud, nor did I care. She would hear me either way.

The sting of a needle, and some of the pain started to ease, allowing me to pull in a deep, relaxing breath. At about the same time, the emotional wave began to break up. I was able to open my eyes in time to catch my companions exchanging worried looks.

"Yeah, this could be a problem." My rueful, hoarse statement was met with a grimace by Carson, then he busied himself checking me again.

"Aye. Are ya doin' better now, son?"

"I'm good. Allie? You okay, kiddo?"

'Of course. Atlantis would have to be damaged to truly hurt me. You'd better tell people to be careful of the doors, though. I'm _so _sorry! I...I suddenly can't stop myself from pulling close. John?'

"What is it, Allie?" I kept my voice low, reassuring.

'I'm really _scared_.'

I could hear the whimper in my head, echoing her written words. Not good.

"It's okay, kiddo, deep breaths..." At Elizabeth's astonished glance, I amended that. "Or whatever. Calm. Focus on something else... Like the look on Rodney's face the other day when you corrected his science and I corrected his math."

I ignored the hastily choked back bark of laughter at that, concentrating solely on soothing a city. As I did so, I was happy to feel my own headache drop another notch. I sighed. Good thing I liked kids. A touch on my arm brought my head up, certain she would keep control this time. I found myself staring into the worried face of Atlantis' leader. Tight lips, slightly pinched look to the face, eyes full of worry... Uh oh.

"There's more, isn't there?"

"Colonel Caldwell forwarded the latest report from Earth- on the Trust."

_Damn that man! If he weren't my superior officer, I'd- _

Caldwell had done it to me again. The Daedalus had been here for a week before I left, but had the man actually been civil enough to come and talk to me face to face about it? Noooo...He has to wait 'til I'm on a mission, then forward it to Elizabeth over my head, knowing damned well that I wouldn't agree with what was in it. I had to clamp down on my own emotions to keep from snapping.

_Don't shoot the messenger, John. It's not her fault._

"Are they still certain the guy who poisoned me was a member?"

I received the classic Weir eyebrow raise and a copy of the report pulled up on the pad. She knew exactly what I thought about this one. The man had posed as a nurse and tried to kill me over a _month_ before the Trust, in the form of Gou'ld controlled Caldwell, tried to blow up Atlantis. Tactically, it just didn't make any sense. You don't risk exposing your whole operation with a premature move against someone who wasn't even a critical target! If it had been Elizabeth or Rodney, maybe...

Unfortunately, my superiors at the SGC didn't agree, which was said rather explicitly in the report. They were still certain that the guy was attempting to create chaos on Atlantis to draw attention away from the other Trust agent. He had penetrated SGC security too easily for there to be any other conclusion, according to them. And even though he had escaped through the gate, Landry classified him as a minimal threat, not likely to return.

_Yeah, right. That's why I've been looking over my shoulder for months now, every time I go off-world. _

Elizabeth was watching me, tense. "They want me to cut off the use of any more intelligence resources looking for him."

I couldn't help gaping at that. "Are you _kidding_ me! The guy's out there, knowing Atlantis is still intact, in a galaxy filled with more enemies than friends! We have to _find _him, Elizabeth, before he finds _us_!"

If only they'd told me about him right after that stupid tree fell on me! I'd have dealt with him, amnesia or no amnesia, and we wouldn't be sitting here debating it! Enough was enough. I was going to find the bastard and throw his ass in the brig, whether Earth liked it or not! I even had an idea of where to start. First thing was first, though. I had to deal with a Highland immovable object.

"Can I get my clothes, Doc? My team's waiting for me and if I don't hurry, Ronon'll eat my lunch. Sometimes I think I should have nicknamed him Audrey 2 instead of Chewie!"

Carson gave me a look that quite clearly said 'Not a chance in hell, Colonel.'

"I've already asked them to bring your lunch here. They should be along in a moment. I'll let you dress, but ya eat here. Then, _if _I'm satisfied that you're doin' well, I'll let ya go, but ya don't go anywhere alone. If you and the wee lass have another collision, I want help close by! Do ya still have that headache?"

"I'm good." I gave him my best 'I don't have a headache and you can't tell I'm lying' look. With a snort of annoyance, he tossed a bundle into my lap.

"Also, I want ya ta-" Abruptly, he broke off, staring at the screen of the notepad still laying on my table. With a wince, I read Allie's words.

'You told me not to lie to people. Why did you just do so to Doctor Beckett?'

_Even when I get away with it, I don't get away with it!_

"Tattletale." I muttered, not caring if I sounded the age that Allie appeared as. "I'll explain it to you _later_."

It was bad enough that I had a doctor who _seemed_ telepathic much of the time. Now I had someone who really _could _read my thoughts, and had about the same notion of when to keep their mouth shut as _Rodney_ did! Before Carson could launch into the lecture I _knew_ was coming, I grabbed my uniform and made a hasty escape to the bathroom. If I had to endure another physics lesson on immovable objects and irresistible forces, I was going to do so _clothed!_


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Thanks to all who have reviewed so far! It really does help me write better:-)

Chapter 4: Ding! John's POV

Four hours later, I found myself once again on the receiving end of an unhappy Carson Beckett. It had taken me an hour and a half after lunch to persuade the doc to clear me, and now he seemed to be regretting it.

"If you think I'm clearin' ya medically to go on another mission tomorrow, Colonel, yer sadly mistaken!"

He glared at me from across the table in the briefing room, where I'd asked Elizabeth to call a meeting of my team. To which, I might add, Carson had invited _himself_. I wasn't about to back down this time, though. I only had one lead on our pseudo-medic and time was critical. I knew if I could get Mr. Immovable Object to agree, though, I was a lot closer to getting Elizabeth's okay as well. There were even reasons for going that could probably provide cover positions for Elizabeth and I with the SGC.

_C'mon, John, you know that's not really fair to Carson. He's just trying to do his job._

"Listen, Doc, your main concern is the effect that Allie's having on me when she loses control, right?"

"Aye. Ya _collapsed _just twenty-six hours ago, son! An' I don't have any idea what other affects she might have."

"Fine. If I'm on a mission, I'm _off-world_. No connection with Allie. No cause for me to collapse." I shrugged, trying to appear calmly reasonable.

_C'mon Carson! See it my way just this once..._

"He's right. Much as I hate to agree with him." Elizabeth's quiet opinion had me heaving a mental sigh of relief. The odds of my getting this mission had just increased considerably.

_Wait a minute! 'Much as I hate to agree with him!'_

"Aye, he might be at that." A heavy sigh. "All right, Colonel. Provided nothin' happens between now an' when you leave, _and _ya pass an exam just before, I'll sign off medically.

_Round One goes to John Sheppard!_

Carson sat down, still watching me like someone who'd just seen Nessie, and Elizabeth took over. "All right. You can proceed with the full briefing, Colonel."

_Round Two. Ding!_

"Okay. Some time ago, Ronon was contacted by an old friend of his. Another Satedan survivor named-"

"Lenon." Ronon's deep rumble supplied the name, pronouncing it 'La-Non'.

Just because I'd made one _little _mistake earlier and called the guy 'Lenin'...

"-Lenon." I nodded toward my team mate, noticing McKay's lips start to twitch out of the corner of my eye. "Apparently, he's part of a group that runs a sort-of Black Market style operation on closely guarded deserted planets several times a year."

"Black Market? Why is it so colored?" Teyla, legitimately confused.

One of these days, I was finally going to learn not to use Earth slang in team briefings. When half your people are from a different galaxy, it tended to confuse things. I must have mentioned it to Ronon before, though, because he just grunted.

"Not colored. Secret. We call them Trade Meets."

Rodney, who had paled at the first mention of the illegal gatherings, finally stopped gaping like some sort of fish. The explosion wasn't long in coming.

"_Why _would we ever want to go there! I've heard of them! All kinds of nasty things go on there, that's why they're illegal! We could get shanghaied! I'm not cut out for slave work! Very delicate hands!"

"You through, McKay?" I snapped, my temper finally breaking my control. "This isn't the illegal kind like on Earth and nobody in their right mind would _want _you for slave labor! It'd be like the North Koreans taking Frank Burns!"

We both ignored the choking noise coming from Carson's end of the table. Didn't know they watched MASH in Scotland!

"Then why's it so secret? Hmmm?" My friend snapped right back, blue eyes flashing.

Ronon took that one with a stare that quite clearly questioned McKay's intelligence. "Because, little man, they mainly deal in weapons, items of the Ancestors, and information. The Wraith don't like it when their food fights back."

"Oh." Open mouth, blank face, abrupt plop into his chair. I love it when Rodney's speechless!

I decided I'd better offer the scientist a backhanded apology for snapping. "There happened to be a message for Ronon just before we left for the storm planet. The meet starts tomorrow and runs for three days. I'm hoping to find weapons or some Ancient tech. Oh, and this _might _interest you, Rodney. The guy says he thinks he can get his hands on something that sounds an awful lot like a ZPM." I sat back and waited.

McKay instantly lit up like a kid on the last day of school. "We need to go!"

_Gotcha! Round Two to Sheppard. Now for Round Three._

"Honestly, Sheppard! Why didn't you just say so in the first place! Impossibly dense military grunt mind!"

_Oooo! I'll get you back for that one, my friend!_

I received a chiding look from Elizabeth, and shrugged innocently, lips twitching. Winding up McKay was _way _too easy sometimes! But, oohhh, so _much _fun.

Then Elizabeth fixed me with a stare telling me quite clearly that she once again saw right through me. Damn.

"That's not the only reasons, are they, Colonel?"

_Crap. Now she's being formal._

"Well, Lenin did pass on rumors that a stranger may be there who's said to be very interested in Ancient devices as well as any information about Atlanteans. Since we're already going, it wouldn't hurt to ask around..."

Her eyes immediately narrowed. "I haven't said yes yet, Colonel Sheppard. Teyla? Do _you _know anything about these meets?"

Attention turned to the one person who had been mostly silent so far, a slightly troubled look on her golden face.

"I have not, Dr. Weir. However, my people have long revered the Ancestors. Word to us of a place in which pieces from them were sold would _not _be wise. I _do _support the reasons Colonel Sheppard had given for undertaking this mission. I would know what the man who poisoned the Colonel was... 'up to'."

"Leaving an enemy free to strike again is a bad idea." Ronon added flatly.

"Frankly, Elizabeth, if there's a chance of a Zed PM, then its worth it. Besides, I'm tired of Colonel Jumpy over there. He looks over his shoulder so much he's gonna walk into a tree." Abruptly, he flushed, obviously realizing the inadvisability of mentioning trees and me in the same sentence.

"And _whose _fault was _that _one, Rodney?" Sarcasm dripped from my words.

I could quite clearly read what all of them were carefully not saying, though. They wanted this guy's hide almost as badly as I did. For _my _sake. That thought made me pause. It'd been a long time since I'd let anyone become that close to me, relied on anyone outside in such a situation... And it felt _good_, felt _right._ How could I have possibly doubted that _this _was my home, this mismatched bunch my family? Now I simply waited on an answer from the woman stuck with leading this crazy crew.

"Departure at 0700 tomorrow, pending Dr. Beckett's okay. Be safe, all of you. Colonel, I'd like to look over your proposed list of trade items. Dismissed."

_Yes! Round Three and Fight to Sheppard. Now we're getting somewhere._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Meeting Mayhem John's POV

The actual Trade Meet was quite a bit larger and more crowded then I'd expected. My experiences with the Pegasus Galaxy natives so far had led me to expect most of them to use hiding as their first line of defense against the Wraith. Those who actually managed to fight back had seemed rare, but then, it was a big galaxy.

The place was set up inside a box canyon about a ten minute brisk walk from the Stargate. Ships of any kind were strictly prohibited and the entrance was being monitored by two scruffy looking men who reminded me rather strongly of the convicts we'd been briefly held captive by a short time ago. They stood up, brandishing weapons upon our approach, but quickly settled when Ronon quietly spoke with them, pressing a chocolate bar into each outstretched palm. One bite and we were waved through.

_Guess its true, nobody can resist chocolate._

"Hey! That- Those-!"

McKay's indignant squawk brought my gaze back to my team. The expression on the astrophysicist's face quite clearly said what had just happened, but I didn't really have any sympathy for the man today.

"Next time, find a better stash, McKay. Like your room." I told him flatly, quickly returning to my surveillance of my surroundings. "We good to go in, Ronon?"

"Yes. Sacrifice for the good of the team, little man." The Satedan grinned wickedly, waiting for the snarky retort, but my hand promptly applied to the back of McKay's head stopped the argument before it could start.

"Hey! Sheppard! What the hell was that for!"

"Let's just go, McKay."

My aviator's glasses hid my eyes, but for once Rodney must have picked up on the clues in my voice I didn't bother to hide. Despite my rapid reassurances to Carson this morning that I was perfectly fine, I'd woken with a rather nasty headache. Allie had been very nervous about me going on another mission so soon as well as guilty about being one of the reasons I was leaving. It had taken several hours of talking with the child late last night before she settled enough to allow me to sleep without her nerves affecting me. I just hoped Captain Zhukov would forgive the broken nose he'd received when Allie's anxiety had caused the lights in the corridor outside my room to suddenly go out. He'd scared the poor kid to death. Russians really know how to swear!

Thankfully, my general feeling of crappiness had been slowly disappearing since we stepped through the gate, leaving me with just my throbbing temples. Which was not at all helped by this world. It was about 90 degrees out (the way we backwards Americans tell temperature!), and humid, which instantly had Rodney complaining. And this was supposedly winter for the planet! No wonder it was uninhabited. Made it a perfect place for a Black Market, though, since no vegetation grew, making it easy to see in most directions for miles. Only a few scattered patches of boulders provided any shelter, and the last outcrop was a good distance from the canyon. Smart.

Somewhere between thirty and forty tents of all shapes and sizes were lining the walls, with people milling about in the center as wares began to be spread out on blankets and crude tables. A flash of gray uniform to my right had me rapidly turning, fingering my P-90. Ronon's hand clamped down hard on my arm even as a familiar voice spoke.

"That won't be necessary, Colonel Sheppard. Everyone here carries weapons, but the truce is strictly enforced." Sora, the young Genii woman I'd met in my first few months here in the Pegasus Galaxy. "Teyla."

With a nod to the Athosian woman who was once a close friend, she moved off. Peachy. Now I had even more reason to watch my back. I trusted the Genii about as far as McKay could throw them. With interest, I scanned the wares of the trader nearest us, who appeared to deal in weapons. Spread out, I saw several knives of various styles, a sword very similar to Ronon's, a Wraith stunner, and several Genii hand guns. I grinned and kept walking as Sora immediately whipped up to the man, face livid.

_Well, that guy's toast!_

"Alright, let's look around, but nobody goes off alone. If we split into pairs, Teyla's with me and McKay's with Ronon. You see anything interesting, let me know. Teyla has our trade goods, and is in charge of bargaining. Keep a tight rein on that mouth of yours, Rodney. Information's a business in places like this, so let's not go making anybody rich. Ronon, let's find your friend first."

Despite my cocky, relaxed instructions to my team, my gut was a knot of tension. I didn't like these kinds of places any more than McKay did, having seen some rather ugly ones in Afghanistan. I kept having to remind myself that this _wasn't _Earth.

_In other words, don't let your prejudices run away with you, John!_

My main problem, though, was that I wasn't quite sure of what was causing my apprehension- a legitimate instinctive warning, my past, or Allie's fears from last night. Quietly, I cursed. As a military leader in a war zone, I couldn't afford these kinds of doubts. All too often in the past, my split second gut reactions had saved my life and those who depended on me. I hated this. As we walked slowly, I was having to force myself not to constantly be glancing over my shoulder, contenting myself with nervously scanning everyone we passed. I knew the face I was hoping and dreading to see, mostly from personnel photos and Allie's limited views from Atlantis, since I didn't actually remember the man. My last memory of that disastrous day was a jaunty wave to Elizabeth in her customary stop on the balcony as I walked through the event horizon.

"Sheppard! Earth to Sheppard!"

"What, Rodney!" I stopped dead, realizing the man had just hailed me from several yards _behind._ I spun around to see all three of them watching me in puzzlement from where they were standing in front of a tattered tan-colored tent. As I approached, I noticed that it was caked in filth, and held together with rough patches that almost obscured the alien script stamped on it.

Ronon jerked his dreadlocks toward it. "Satedan military issue. This is Lenon's."

"Ronon Dex! Shoulda known the Wraith couldn't kill you!" A man shouldered me aside, arms outstretched to my companion.

Ronon's face split into his rare large smile, heartily slapping the man on the back with a strength that sent his old friend staggering. "Lenon! Good to see you!"

"I couldn't believe it when someone said you'd shown up again, alive, after all these years! You'll have to tell me how you managed that one sometime!" A wide grin showed black, rotted teeth that matched the matted short black hair, dirty gnarled hands, and the horrid smell that had some sort of alien flies buzzing around. I was slightly shocked. Ronon occasionally had what I would consider less then stellar manners, but he at least knew the uses a bar of soap could be put to.

Ronon's nose crinkled. "Got a lake I could throw you into?"

The other Satedan just laughed. "Sorry about that, but it keeps the annoying types away, like the Tel and Genii. They think I'm beneath them. First rule of warfare, my friend."

"Be what your enemy doesn't expect. I was a Runner for seven years, Lenon. These people helped me get free of the Wraith. Any help you can give them..."

Lenon's face went slack in shock at his friend's casual explanation, his eyes darting back to us for a second, longer assessing look. Suddenly, the man appeared a little nervous.

"Your message said you were interested in items of the Ancestors, as well as the stranger." His hands were twitching, twisting about one another.

Alarm bells began ringing in my head, and I casually stepped back, clearing my line of sight to much of the rest of the Meet. My thumb strayed to the safety of my P-90. Lenon paled under all that dirt, staring at me in alarm.

"Ronon..." His tone held a squealing, whining note, even worse then Rodney in full panic mode, that instantly set my teeth on edge. I _definitely_ didn't like this guy, though I might wind up owing yet another apology. Seemed to be my favorite past time lately. I noted, however, that Teyla had moved closer to Rodney, ready to protect him if need be.

My other team mate, instead of taking offense at my suspicion of an old friend, just shrugged. "The one we're looking for tried to kill Sheppard. He didn't like the idea. Neither do I."

There was a very pointed message behind those last three words that had Lenon hastily holding up his hands. Ronon had just made it clear which side he would take if the man forced him to choose. I glanced at him in surprise, wondering once again just what it was I'd done that had earned such loyalty from the large warrior.

"Don't be tunneled, Ronon! The man's dangerous and wants your friend here very badly. We should conclude our business quickly so you can all leave before anyone else realizes who you are!"

Without wasting a moment, the man ducked back into his tent, re-emerging with a cloth wrapped bundle that he held out to Ronon. McKay, however, quickly elbowed the other man aside, eagerly fumbling to unwrap the thing, muttering to himself the whole time.

"Stupid paranoid military...threats, growling, _then _they finally get to the good stuff! We coulda been outta here instead of baking, but noooo. First he tries giving me pneumonia, now heatstroke...AHH!"

I rolled my eyes, trying to decide if I could somehow accidentally leave the man behind...

_No. Elizabeth'll just make me come back and get him anyway. Besides, who else could I trade insults with? Better bring him home._

At Rodney's sudden sound of satisfaction, I glanced momentarily over at the astrophysicist to see a ZPM cradled in his hands. Good. Now the SGC couldn't get on Elizabeth's case for authorizing the mission. They'd look like damned fools if they did.

"What're you asking for that?" I jerked my head at the power source, watching Lenon closely. Even if it were dead, the thing could be useful at the right price, since McKay and Zelenka were still hopeful of figuring out how to recharge them. If nothing else, it might make a nice paperweight for Elizabeth's desk.

"For friends of Ronon's? Maybe twenty bars of this...chock-o-late Ronon's been telling me about. If I may sample it first, of course."

"Of course." I replied blandly, hiding a smile. I could deal with that price.

Rodney was already demandingly snapping his fingers at me, not taking his eyes off his prize. "Pay the man, Sheppard."

_No negotiation skills whatsoever!_

Teyla's mouth twitched suspiciously as she waited for my nod before handing Lenon a box of the candy bars. It wasn't the first time McKay had butted in before the bargaining ritual could be fulfilled, nor was it likely to be the last, I was sure.

"I apologize for the lack of manners displayed by my companion. He is from a planet where transactions are often carried out quite differently and often forgets when excited." She hadn't missed a beat rattling that one off. I doubted even Elizabeth could have done better. My attention, however, was rapidly refocused on some sort of disturbance at the entrance to the Meet.

I heard Lenon making short work of a bar wrapper behind me, apparently completely dismissive of McKay. "I've seen worse. Ask Ronon some time about dealing with Pettem."

That received a growl from the Runner, a strange counterpart to the groans of pleasure Lenon was making. Not to mention the bellowing of the man striding down the center of the Meet, flailing arms knocking people out of the way as he went. It wasn't long before we could hear his bloviation, and my heart sank.

"Blasphemy! Savages! Unworthy! Desecraters! You will bring disaster upon us all with your ways! You sell the sacred items of the Ancestors! They will return and strip your flesh from your bones!"

"Go away, you mind-wiped fool!"

"Who let him in! Tremnoc!"

"You can pray all you want, I'm sure the Wraith'll find it tasty!"

Derisive shouts met the religious fanatic, and it looked for a moment like it would just degenerate into a screaming match. Until the man saw _us. _Face turning so red it was almost purple, the man barreled through the former entrance guards who were trying to restrain him. Like an angry bull moose, eyes wild, spittle flying, he bore down on us. I instantly heard the whine of Ronon's handgun charging, and saw Teyla yank McKay behind her, P-90 smoothly coming up. Fortunately for his immediate health, the man halted several feet away, bellowing.

"THERE! There are the ones who bring the scourge upon us! THEY, who ARROGANTLY CLAIMED the SACRED CITY for their OWN, then DARED to DESTROY it! Their blasphemy has DOOMED us. The Ancestors TURN their BACKS upon us BECAUSE-"

I had allowed myself to focus solely on the ranting holy man, and it almost got us all killed. An energy bolt flew past my ear, so close I could hear the crackle.

"Down!" I screamed, ducking around the corner of Lenon's tent. Lousy protection, but better than standing out in the open.

As if that one shot was a general invitation, all hell broke loose.

Energy bolts sizzled, bullets kicked up dust, tents were toppled by struggling bodies, wares scattered. For the moment, my team and I seemed to be overlooked as we crouched in the shadows of the canyon wall behind the tent. I seriously doubted that would last long, though.

"We need to get to the gate!" Teyla and Ronon both nodded, not breaking off their defensive watch. McKay, though...

"What! You're kidding, right! That's suicide!"

"So's staying here unless you have wings! Stick with Teyla, McKay! Ronon! Take our six!"

Rodney, I was pleased to see, was instantly silent, 9mm clenched in a hand that only shook the slightest amount. Wide, fearful blue eyes met mine, but he still gave me a steady, determined nod. When push came to shove, Rodney would do whatever he had to for the team.

I took point, trying to stay glued to the canyon wall, hoping the wrecked tents would provide a buffer from the main melee out in the middle. Weapons' fire was still hitting random victims, though the majority of it seemed to be stunners, now. At least, those who went down were no longer sprouting new ventilation holes. A number of energy bursts were red, too, and not all of them were the well-placed shots of my team mate. Someone else here had Satedan weaponry.

"YOU!" Seemingly out of nowhere, huge hands were attempting to wrench away my weapon. The red face of our earlier ranter filled my vision, features twisted in pure hatred. Using his own momentum, I abruptly quit fighting the heavy pull of his hands, twisting the gun butt around and driving it into his solar plexus. He crashed to his knees, only to receive my reclaimed P-90 hard to the face, sending him reeling. A knife appeared then, buried to the hilt in the man's back. He crashed to the ground, writhing in pain. I began to move around him, only to be yanked toward him by one ham-like hand firmly wrapped in the side of my vest. Before I could react, I found myself only inches from his face, putrid breath making me reflexively gag. Blood flecked lips parted, his last words a hateful warning.

"He is...here! He will...KILL YOU!"

With that, the instigator of this mess died- and I stuck my hand in a light socket. Or at least, that's what it felt like in those eternal seconds before my consciousness blessedly faded.

TBC...Come now, surely you knew I couldn't let him just walk out of there! Shep's got a target on his back!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N Okay, this story has taken on a life of its own! Right now it looks like it may end up longer than the first, with a lot more action, and very complex (which is giving me nice headaches!).

Chapter 6: Nightmares

I was jolted awake to the feel of my head bouncing around while my body was being hauled over someone's shoulder like a sack of flour. A face full of tan coat gave away who's.

_Good color, really. Material could be a little softer, though._

With a mental groan, I tried to move, to tell him that I was awake and not really appreciative of a further ride, but my body seemed to be on strike. I could feel every bounce, every flap of limp hands against his back, the pressure of Ronon's arm holding on to my legs, but nothing responded. Well, except my stomach. Now _that _was a notion I really didn't want to think too much on. Also, I was _cold_. Hadn't we just been on some scorched ball of rock? Why was my body shivering? Some dirt flew up into my face and I flinched hard. Internally. Having something headed right for your face, your eyes, and being unable to flinch away was an experience I never wanted the pleasure of having again. I actually _felt _the stuff hit my eye, my vision abruptly blackening, stinging, and I couldn't do anything about it. Talk about maddening! To quote a friend, 'Bloody hell!'

While I was trying to decide if this could get any worse, we stopped with one final bounce and I was lifted off my team mate's shoulder. Now, of course, my eyes decided to slide shut, dislodging the dirt, and stayed that way, like some child's baby doll.

_Get it now, Colonel Sheppard action figure, life sized with closing eyes!_

My silence was shattered, voices leaping too loud and then barely audible and I groaned. Inwardly, at least. Did nothing work? What in this galaxy had I been hit with, anyway? It was worse than a damn Wraith stunner! My hearing decided to switch back on again just as I went from ice cold to so hot I thought I would melt right there.

_This is fun. _

"-behind these rocks. It should not be much longer before we may make another attempt at the gate. How is Colonel Sheppard?"

_Good question, Teyla. Getting tired of hearing it asked, though._

Hands were on me, checking my pulse and respiration, pulling my abused eyelids open.

"Seems to be breathing okay, but I think he's got a fever. The sooner we get him to Carson the better I'll feel. What the hell hit him, anyway? He glowed!"

_That's a new one. Maybe I could start moonlighting as a night light._

"Don't know. Some sort of stunner."

_Thank you for once again stating the obvious, Chewie._

"Well, _thank you_ for once again stating the obvious, Ronon!"

I had to laugh to myself at that one. Too bad McKay'd never believe me. I'd actually beaten him to the snark almost word for word! Then, I'd been on the receiving end of that one a few too many times not to see it coming.

_Getting way too predictable, Rodney. You're taking away half the fun._

I drifted for a while, which is pretty easy to do when your eyes are closed and you can't move. About all I _could _do. Then, I was being picked back up and my eyes once again slid open, limp head bouncing around, occasionally giving me glimpses of the same bleak landscape I remembered from the walk to the Meet. I just hoped Rodney hadn't managed to drop that ZPM somewhere. It would be nice to get _something _out of this snafu.

_Besides another free trip to my home away from home?_

Wait a minute! Did I just see a puff of dirt over to the right! No, had to be my eyes again. There was no one over there that I could glimpse, but my gut was once again insisting that something just wasn't right about this whole thing. Then I saw it. Materializing almost directly beside us in the dirt was a clear print of a boot, the tread looking suspiciously like that of the Atlantis Expedition.

_No! Somebody's there! You're going to let an intruder into Atlantis! STOP!_

With a sinking heart, I heard Teyla tell Rodney to dial the gate, heard the distinctive whoosh of it opening up. I knew the danger was there, _knew _we had somehow been set up, but could do nothing but lay there, imitating a bag of dog food. Son-Of-A-Bitch!

One sickening intergalactic roller coaster ride later, I was being placed on a gurney, that distinctive Scottish brogue pumping my team for details as to what had happened- and I heard the sweet sound of the intruder alarm going off in the gate room.

_Yes!_

"What's going on? I need ta get Colonel Sheppard to the infirmary!"

"Hold on, Carson! Everything's going a little crazy up here! Rodney!"

_No! No, Allie, you gotta calm down, kiddo! You can't panic on me!_

No such luck. My head began its distinctive throb once again.

"Its that stupid brat! She's got everything going haywire! I can't-! No, no, that's not right! There's no one else in the gate room!"

_No! Allie, you **have **to warn them-_

Every nerve in my body was on fire, a thousand electrical wires dancing across my skin, limbs quaking, jumping uncontrolled. Pain, hot liquid fire racing, building, spilling over every block I tried to erect, until it carried me away into darkness to the sound of Allie's screams.

...And I found myself once again in the Control Room. Slowly I sat up, not surprised in the least when I was instantaneously knocked down again by the force of a miniature pink whirlwind impacting with my chest. Scooting back to brace my back against a console, I cradled the shaking, sobbing bundle, gently stroking her golden curls.

"Shhhh...Allie, its okay, I'm here. Shhhh... It was just some sort of stunner. I'm sure I'll be just fine..."

"NO!" A tear streaked cherubic face was upturned into mine, shaking violently. "_He's _here, _he _did something! I can't control anything anymore, its all locked up, kinda like that glowy-eyed guy did! I tried to warn them, I swear!"

_Another bad guy, another crisis, must be Friday in the Pegasus Galaxy!_

"Are you saying he's managed to lock down the computers, Allie?"

How the hell had anyone managed that within seconds of walking through the Stargate? Blond curls whipped back and forth as she bit her lip, trying to think of how to explain. I just hugged her to me tighter, tucking her tiny head under my chin, hair against my cheek. Faintly, I caught the scent of violets from the silky soft stuff. After several minutes of sitting there, holding each other, a muffled voice answered my question.

"Not like that, with codes. He made stuff short circuit and it hurt me. He did it so fast... I think he must have left a program there from before, an' nobody found it." Little hands pushed away, and after a moment, I let her go. She tilted her head back, looking me in the face, one finger tracing the path of a tear down my cheek that I hadn't even noticed falling. "John... If he does anything else, I may not be able to stop it from hurting you, too. I'm _really, really_ scared!"

My eyes slipped closed against the stabbing pain of that tearful statement. My little precious one... If this was fatherhood, how could anyone in their right mind possibly walk away, or, heaven forbid, actually _hurt_ such a trusting soul? Without a word, I gathered her to me again, holding on with everything that I had.

"You just leave it to me, kiddo. I'll get him, I promise you that. You do what you have to do to stay in one piece, you hear me? I can handle a little pain if I have to!" This time I was the one to push her back, cupping my hand under her chin and looking into crystal blue eyes. "Do you hear me, Allie?"

"Yes." A tiny smile tried to twitch the corners of her mouth up. "Does this mean I have to be nice to Doctor Smartypants if he needs my help fixing things?"

A soft bark of laughter broke through. "Yes, it would help if you worked with Dr. McKay. He's a good man, Allie. He won't let anyone hurt either of us if there's anything he can do."

"I know, I-" She froze, eyes taking on a slightly unfocused look. "He's trying something. You have to go before we're both caught here." She vanished from my arms, the scene around me fading out as I felt myself falling.

Once again, I couldn't move a muscle, couldn't open my eyes. Crap.

"I love you..." A whisper in my ears, sounding so far away, so forlorn. "...Father..."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Revenge is... Bryan's POV (OC)

The moment I stepped through the Stargate back to Atlantis, I hit the button on the transceiver, signaling my moles to begin their work, releasing the virus into the computer system. Calmly, I slipped over to the wall nearest the gate, out of the line of traffic, and waited. It didn't take long. As their precious sensors tried to alert them to my hidden presence, the lights began flickering, the gate shield went on, then off again, and the gate attempted to dial an address, then froze.

_Idiotic fools. This was almost too easy! The brass duffers on Earth just never learn..._

Excellent. In fact, it was better then it should have been. The virus wasn't designed to effect this many systems this fast. What was going on here? Eyes narrowed, I watched their vaunted genius sprint past the gurney and up the Control Room stairs, rudely shoving the technician out of his seat. The man never did have any manners to speak of.

_Go ahead and try, smart man. You only **think **you know everything._

His shouted words, though, took me by surprise.

"Its that stupid brat! She's got everything going haywire! I can't-! NO, no that's not right! There's no one else in the gate room!"

My, my! I couldn't believe my luck! The arrogant ass had apparently managed to offend someone else! With an amused snort, I quickly slipped up the stairs to a laptop carelessly abandoned by a woman too caught up in McKay's latest little drama. A few moments of work, and there were power surges throughout the city. That ought to keep them occupied and out of my way for a while.

I wasn't prepared for the city to scream, nor for it to be echoed by the form on the gurney below. Raw, primal pain doubled half the crew over, straining to protect their ears. It was pure, beautiful music to mine, a symphony orchestra hitting the first notes of the triumphal hero.

_So, the city really is sentient on some level. Interesting. Better deal with that now before it becomes a problem._

With a sure step I moved off, confidence flowing like the sweetest nectar through my veins. Finally... I slipped through the grunts' locker room, lifting a uniform left by a careless owner. I would be needing it soon. The alien cloak that I had used to gain entry would soon be out of power and I had been unable to procure another. Oh well. I always _had _liked making a killing at the negotiation table.

I would need to rely on my own ability to blend in now, but I had years of practice at that particular skill while still on Earth. People rarely see what's right under their noses. I allowed myself a satisfied smile as I sank into _his _chair and flipped on _his _computer just as the last of the power drained and I became visible to the naked eye. I tossed the dead thing aside and settled in to begin my work, several possible plans for dealing with a sentient Atlantis running through my mind. It all depended on what type of AI I was dealing with, since there had been no sign of the thing five months before.

Twenty minutes later I leaned back, staring at the screen in shock. A child! Connected to _him_! How ironic! By trapping her, keeping her out of my way and out from under the influence of that _murderer_, I would be her savior! Too bad little Allie would never know the service I had provided her. Soon...soon I would take that rubbish back through the gate to the waiting icy mountains of another world, with the precious gate _just _far enough away... John Sheppard would finally know the despair of having home and family just out of reach as he died. Just as _she _had...

A/N: Now back to the good guys for a while!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Impossible Choices Weir's POV

"Rodney!" I called to my chief scientist, desperate for answers as the echoes of those bloodcurdling twin screams rang through my head. My attention was fixed on the partially obscured now limp figure of our friend lying on the gurney, Carson having not yet moved from his position of restrain. I prayed not to see the convulsions start again, to hear John in such awful pain. He needed to be in the infirmary, but...

"Containment's down! Go NOW, Carson!"

Rodney's voice was steady, but the gaze he turned on me after the doctor disappeared with John showed that he was just as rattled by what had just occurred as I was. For one brief moment, he locked eyes with me, before rapidly returning to his work on several different computers there. A brief expletive in Czech signaled the arrival of his colleague and second, Radek Zelenka, who shouldered Rodney aside from one of the consoles. Another glance and a firm shake of the head forestalled the questions I itched to ask. The look in his eyes and the dogged concentration he exhibited told me all too clearly how deep the trouble we were in truly was.

Quickly turning and leaving them to their work for now, I darted down the stairs another possible source of answers.

"Teyla! Ronon! What happened!"

A grim exchange of glances between the other two members of SGA-1 met my hail before Ronon pressed a cloth wrapped bundle into my hands almost angrily.

"Here. McKay dropped this."

Startled, I pulled away the rags to find...

"A ZPM!" I couldn't believe it. All I got in reply was a growl. "What?"

"Bait for a trap. Sheppard isn't safe."

_Uh oh. Ronon sounds about ready to tear something apart!_

"We are not certain of that, Dr. Weir, though the circumstances do appear suspicious." Teyla shot Ronon a quelling look before turning back to me. "We found Ronon's friend as planned when an altercation was started by one who worships the Ancestors. Colonel Sheppard was attacked and then hit when we attempted to leave. Ronon and I also both sensed someone or something following us when we returned to the gate, though we found no other evidence of it."

"Thank you. Go!" I tilted my head toward the hallway, knowing exactly where I could find them should it be necessary. The same place I wanted to be right now.

"Elizabeth!" Jerking slightly at the touch on my arm, I was surprised to find Rodney next to me.

"Is it possible that someone came through the gate with you, and that's what set off the alarms?"

He gave another quick head shake, grimacing. "No, that was Allie. Sheppard must have been in a lot of pain, and the kid lost control. Power surges gave false readings everywhere, probably hurt her before she knew what was happening. I just had to shut them down before anything else began to blow. If it starts again, though, we could have another cascade failure on our hands before we can repair enough of the damage."

_Shit! A threat of the base blowing up is not what I needed right now._

"The fail safes-"

"May not be working because so much was damaged. There's no way to tell until its too late. Elizabeth, if it starts, I may have to shut down all of Atlantis' systems..."

Now he looked positively sick, sweat beading on his forehead, face pale and my heart sank.

"What is it?" I whispered, voice cracking slightly. The only other time I could remember him acting like this was when we stood at the back of a jumper watching Carson try to restart John's heart...

A silence thickened between us for several long seconds until at last his eyes darted away from mine, his words coming fast and furious. "Allie's obviously hurting pretty seriously in her own right, and I have _no _idea what effects shutting everything down could have on her. If she's damaged too badly... Elizabeth, it could kill her! She's just a kid! I don't know if-"

"Oh God..." I cut him off, hand darting unconsciously to my mouth as the full implications of what he was saying began to sink in. I hadn't even thought of that. Abruptly, I recalled her cocky words to John... Was it possible it was just yesterday? 'Atlantis itself would have to be damaged to hurt _me._' How could I do this? How could I order the death of a _child_? What kind of monster would I be then? I knew one thing, though. There was no way in hell I was forcing _Rodney_ to bear the torture of making it. "Call me if it gets to that point and I'll make the decision. I'll be in the infirmary."

That earned me his favorite 'Uh duh!' look. I knew if it were anything less than the destruction of the city facing us, he'd have already beaten me down there. When either John or Rodney were injured, the other could be guaranteed not to be far away.

"Rodney! I could be using your help, please!" Zelenka's voice drifted down from above us.

"Go. The minute there's any word, I'll let you know."

With a grateful nod, he bounded back up the stairs, already yelling for Radek. I headed the other way, deep in thought.

_This walk is getting way too familiar, John! How had things gotten so bad so quickly? Was it possible...?_

Knowing what John's advice would be, I tapped my ear piece. "Major Lorne, this is Dr. Weir."

"Yes, Ma'am?" The second in command of the Atlantis military answered immediately, concern tinging his tone.

"No news yet, Major. Teyla and Ronon had some concerns that they were being followed back to the gate. Now, it could just be Colonel Sheppard's nerves and the situation were effecting them, but..."

"Guards will be posted in the gate room and all other critical areas immediately, Ma'am."

"Thank you, Major. I'll let you know when I hear anything. Weir out."

_You've trained your people well, John. He didn't even question it, but then, he's been around both you and Jack O'Neill enough to know what can happen._

Dreading what I might find, my feet slowed a little... until I heard the raised voices from inside my destination, anyway. Hurrying around the last corner, I triggered the door to the outer exam room quickly, trying to decide just what else could possibly go wrong. The situation that confronted me however... Well, if things hadn't been so serious, I would have had a good laugh.

Ronon was standing on the far side of the room, baring down on someone with a growl I had seen make trained Marines scurry out of the Satedan's way. The object he wanted removed, though, was no soldier. Standing with her hands on her hips barring the door, almost tipping over backward in an attempt to glare into the impossibly tall Ronon's eyes was a very determined Bethany Kirran, and she didn't look like she would be budging an inch any time soon.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: First, I need to apologize to everyone. I made a stupid mistake when I cut and pasted Chapter 6, so the first part of this next chapter was out of order tacked on the end of that one. That chapter has now been reloaded as it was supposed to appear. Thank you, everyone, for reading, you're all the best!

Chapter 9: No End in Sight

Hands prodding...no, removing my clothes! Hey! What was going on here!

"Pulse-ox is at 98, Doctor, respirations 100 per minute."

_Oh. Must be the infirmary._

"Breathin' is a little fast, especially for someone who's unconscious. I want you to monitor that closely. Let's get the scrub top on now, and see if the blood tests have come back yet."

_Carson, and he doesn't know I'm awake. This could be a problem. At least I seemed to have missed the undressing and dressing of the lower part. Talk about embarrassing! _

Suddenly, I was shaking with the cold again, and pain flared up and down my right arm.

"Pulse and heart rate up. Take his temperature again, Karen, he feels like he's shiverin' suddenly."

_That's because I am! This place is an icebox._

"It's at 95.9, Doctor."

"Bloody hell. Get a warmin' blanket, quickly. He's seesawin' all over the bloody place."

_Two bloodys in one breath. That's never good._

A heavy warmth settled over me, and my shivering eased. Much better.

"Carson? How is he? Teyla and Ronon are about ready to stage an invasion for news, and Rodney's having problems concentrating on his repairs because he hasn't heard anything."

"Oh, Elizabeth, I'm sorry. I've been fightin' to get him stable... No, don't worry, luv, I don't think it's life threatin' as long as we watch him. It's more like somethin' overloaded his entire nervous system and now its firin' at random. He's burning with fever one minute, then he's shaking with cold."

_Oh goody, instant freeze and bake. Ow!_

Pain again, only this time it was up and down my back.

"His heart rate just picked up. Is he awake?"

Elizabeth sounded alarmed, and I felt her hand curl around mine, gently squeezing it. Wish I could squeeze it back.

"No. Nerves carry pain signals, and his don't know there's nothin' there that should be setting 'em off. As soon as his blood work is back, I'll know if I can safely give him a sedative. That should help the wee lass, too, since she won't be feelin' his pain anymore."

"That would be good, for both of them. There's massive malfunctions shorting out half the systems right now. Each one just keeps setting off more trouble. Rodney's beginning to worry about a cascade failure overloading the ZPM, so we may have to shut everything down."

"Do ya know what effect that would have on the wee lass?"

"No, and right now no one can talk to her. If it comes down to a choice between John and this city or her, though... I'll do what I have to."

"And hate every minute of it. If it comes down to that...I've no doubt what both of them would tell you to do." Carson's voice was full of compassion, and I could imagine his gentle healer's hand resting on her shoulder, wishing he could take some of the burden from her that rested there.

_Be brave, Allie. Stay strong, Elizabeth. You can do this. I can't wait for this nightmare to be over. This time I **will **take a piece out of the bastard who did this to us!_

"Rodney, this is Elizabeth."

_Must be calling him on the radio._

"Yaha..." That was a whispered groan.

_Should have known Elizabeth knew Arabic. Wonder what negotiations she picked up **that **one in?_

"Sorry, Rodney...No, that was Arabic. Roughly translated it means 'oh shit.' Just give me a moment..."

_I can guess the response to that. 'We don't **have **a moment!'_

"Warn Major Lorne and turn everything off. Now."

Cold. Heat. I felt my breath catch as a vise seemed to clamp down on my heart.

_Please... Just let her be all right. Don't let another innocent die because of me..._

Pain, so intense tears came to my eyes unchecked and my hands clenched to sheets with a sudden will of their own. Sounds, harsh, jarring, gone and then back twice as load, like the white noise on a television someone forgot to turn off.

_Hold on... Come on, just a little longer, ride it out..._

_**'NO! YOU WILL NOT TAKE HIM!'**_

_Allie! ALLIE!_

"ALLIE!"

I was sitting up, screaming, my throat raw, oblivious to the people suddenly around me. Hands tried to force me back to the bed, but this time I had control of at least some of my body, and resisted. Squeezing my eyes tight, I tuned out my surroundings, desperately seeking even the faintest brush of one little girl. Nothing. Opening my eyes, I met silence and darkness all around me.

As faint lighting returned to the infirmary, I slumped back, uncaring. She was gone. I knew it without a doubt, and it broke my heart.

I think I started to drift for a while after that, because I heard snatches of odd conversation, hands occasionally touching me. The pain, heat, cold, hearing, and sight all came in unpredictable waves, but I welcomed them. It really didn't matter anymore... All the pain I'd caused, all the things I should have done differently... On some level I knew what was happening, recognized the symptoms of depression and shock, but it was too much effort to fight it. They'd be better off without me...

Then the voice came, snatching me back on wings of pure hatred.

"You can't die yet, you bastard! You must atone for all you've done! Somehow, you got the little bitch to lock the gate against me, but you will still suffer! I will show them all what a piece of hypocritical trash you really are!"

Alarm sped up my heart so fast I could hear it pound in my ears. _He _was still here, and somehow he would pay for the beautiful soul he had just snuffed out! With an almost audible snap, I was fully conscious once again.

A/N: Now the heads get to start rolling!


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: The chapters with Bryan are going to be fairly dark.

Chapter 10: ...A Dish... Bryan's POV

I was beyond furious as the offending instrument hit the far wall, shattering explosively. Let them repair _that _laptop! I just wish I could break that little brat so easily. Everything had been going so smoothly until _she _stuck her nose in! The latest round of malfunctions had them all running around, scratching their collective heads like a bunch of Basic Programming students, even the know-it-all McKay. I could hear them all debating shutting everything down, closing the cell door on the child AI before she knew what hit her, leaving me free to retrieve what I had come for. _So close_. I could have grabbed the killer while it was all dark and left as soon as the power was back, when they could do nothing but sit and watch. Eventually, I might have even told them where to find the body, but no...

He had corrupted her beyond saving, somehow. The interfering little bitch had seen what I was doing, found a hole and _ruined _everything! Now I was stuck here, the gate sealed by that stupid shield, which she had somehow protected with _his _command codes. Clever little thing, really. I had worked so very, very long for this day...

I could still remember the day that _he _had consigned her to death, so clear. Colorado had always been so beautiful in the winter, so crystal clear it seemed to be out of one of her fairy tales. It was supposed to even have the happy ending for us after so many years, so much pain... She kept promising me that it would all be done soon, that no one would ever again be able to hurt us. We had such plans, such dreams of adventure and exploring, together, wherever they sent her. And with one act, it was all gone. _She _was gone. They had come and told me, said she hadn't suffered any pain, probably hadn't even known anything had happened...

But they were wrong. She had felt the agony. It was clear on every inch of her beaten, mauled body when they finally found her, so many months later. I promised her she would one day rest in peace, and she believed me. I just never thought it would take me to an ultra-secret facility and then to another galaxy. It was almost over now. All the years of recreating myself, falsifying all those records, burning that stupid orphanage, all would finally be worth it. Now, though, it was finished, _wasted._ They would find me, stop me, and my Bree would _never _be free.

_Only if you stop advertising the fact that you're here. It doesn't matter if he got her to lock the gate, there's plenty of room in this city. Make him bleed right under their noses, shove his actions in front of them. They will see the Justice that you meet out. Make him **suffer **for me, Bryan!_

Soon, little sister, beloved twin. So very soon.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Gathering Intelligence Weir's POV

Quietly, I entered the conference room, setting the mugs of coffee on the table with a soft clink, trying very hard not to wake the lightly snoring Rodney McKay. All of us were exhausted, but probably none more so than him. It had been forty-two long hours since we were forced to shut down all of Atlantis' systems, and getting them back up had been slow going indeed. The power surges had torn through randomly, destroying as they went, leaving shattered consoles and burnt out crystals. Repair teams were still working, but so far only a few minor systems, like lighting and ventilation, had been successfully brought back up without immediately blowing out again. The ZPM was off-line completely, and we had dared restart only one of our own Naquadah generators besides the isolated back-up unit in the medical area. In all that time, Rodney had refused to take any breaks, speaking only to give necessary orders, eating and drinking only when forced to by Teyla or Carson. He had been a man possessed, driven by his own guilt and anger to do whatever was necessary.

Guilt. Now there was another problem. We were all feeling it, especially when the first systems successfully came back on and there was no sign of Allie. My mind kept urging me to wait, to believe that she might yet have made it, trapped somewhere within the computer core cut off from us, but all it took was one look at the still form in the infirmary for my gut to tell me what a lie that was.

_Why! Why did this have to happen **now**, to **them**? I've never seen John so relaxed, so happy as when the two of them were up to some mischief together! Driving poor Rodney nuts... Driving **me **nuts!_

"Too bad we'll have to wake him. Little man needs the rest."

A low rumble behind me, making me flinch. "Ronon."

With a nod, the former Runner sat down next to his slumbering team mate, careful not to bump him. I was a little surprised at the concern he seemed to be showing.

_And why should you be? That's his team mate! The man's almost as bad a mother hen as John can be! Or maybe he's a wolf, protecting his pack?_

"I thought we'd have to use a crowbar to get you out of the infirmary for this." I gave Ronon my best eyebrow raise, waiting, curious to see what answer I could get from the enigmatic man.

As focused as Rodney had been on the repairs, Ronon seemed to be even worse about the safety of John. He had lurked around the injured man's bed, watching everything and everyone that came near, to the point where some of the staff had gone to Carson with complaints. The Satedan had never threatened, barely even spoke in fact, but just hovered, constantly there, an air of menace making it clear to all that they had better watch their step. He would let no further harm come to the man he had failed to guard on the planet.

"Lorne let me pick the men I wanted, and I don't plan on staying long."

He dared me to contradict him on that one, a fight I was just too exhausted at the moment to start. We didn't even know if there really was a threat, or if the lot of us were jumping at shadows. Considering the monsters that were often with those shadows in the Pegasus Galaxy, it was a wonder we weren't so paranoid all the time.

"All right, let's get this bloody thing done. I don't like leavin' the Colonel for this long."

Carson, Teyla, and Major Marcus Lorne all filed in, the slap of the doctor's notebook carelessly dropped to the table jolting Rodney upright before I could say anything. Carson immediately grimaced as he noted what he'd just done, one hand coming to rest on the astrophysicist's shoulder in mute apology as the Scot took the other open chair beside his friend. With a chiding look at the physician, I pressed one of the hot cups of coffee I had brought into the groggy man's hand, watching with mild alarm as he downed the stuff in one long gulp.

"I'm awake. Sorry. Carson, how's Sheppard?"

"Physically, at least, he's a lot better, Rodney. His nerves are settling down, and his temperature finally stabilized about two hours ago. The stunner seems to be wearin' off." A glance nervously away from all of us let us know the worst hadn't changed, though. "Psychologically, I just don't know. Since that shout when the power was cut, he hasn't said a word, or given any indication that he's even cognizant. He seems ta be conscious much of the time, but doesna move, or react to any outside stimuli. I canna tell you more until I have the systems to run some of the more advanced scans again. I think we can all guess what the cause probably is, though."

"He felt her die." Rodney's tone was bleak, blue eyes filled with a deep sadness.

Silence descended, thick, mournful. I saw one crystal tear track its way down Teyla's smooth face. Ronon's head dropped until all that was visible was the mass of dreadlocks. Lorne frowned, head moving to scan the room restlessly. Carson's gaze locked with mine and I saw there the truth that none of us wanted to acknowledge, as if we could somehow prove it false with the strength of our denial.

_We lost more than Allie. We've lost John, too._

This was much worse, harder then when he'd simply been suffering from amnesia. At least then, we'd had hope that what was lost could return, and even if it didn't, the man we knew could start again. This time... there was an empty shell lying in a bed, waiting to die.

Closing my eyes, I forced myself to take a deep breath, to focus on continuing with the meeting.

"All right, what about sweeps for a possible intruder? Are we ready to call those off, Major?"

The military man's head was shaking in denial before I could even complete the question. "I think until the power and systems are fully restored, its best to keep security where its at, Ma'am. We've found no evidence of an intruder, but with the level of problems we've encountered in the last few days, I'd rather be extra cautious. Colonel Sheppard has left standing orders to that effect for this type of situation, as well."

_Of course you would, John. You always want to take care of us, even when you're not with us. Damn you for leaving me alone now! Allie isn't the only one who needs you, depends on you!_

"Continue to carry out your orders, then, Major. I-"

I broke off as Doctor Zelenka hurried into the room without a glance at any of us, heading right for Rodney while mumbling in Czech under his breath. Wordlessly, he thrust a notepad computer into his colleague's hands, who immediately paled, sinking back into his chair.

"Rodney?" I prodded, trying to contain my rising anxiety level at the sight of the man rapidly working on the pad, eyes darting in alarm at whatever he read there. I knew bad news when I saw it. Several minutes passed, all of us staring at him awaiting an explanation, to which he seemed utterly oblivious. Finally, I got ready to snap at him, anger building, but Ronon beat me to it.

The Satedan firmly poked one finger into the scientist's shoulder. "McKay!"

That, at least, provided us with a reaction. "HEY! Oh, sorry. Radek's team just found something to explain the level of malfunctions that hit, as well as the locked shield over the gate."

"What! What lock, Rodney? I thought all power to the gate was still shut down!"

Now, I was getting irritated. There was no habit of Rodney's that could raise my blood pressure faster than him not bothering to tell me what was going on until after it had happened. He matched me glare for glare.

"Oh yes. Elizabeth, Radek's team just managed to restore power to the gate and found the shield has been locked in place with Sheppard's command code. _Two minutes ago!_ Not that we don't have _bigger_ problems than that to focus on!"

_Lack of sleep, worry... we're all short tempered, just let it go._

"Just...explain what's going on to us if you please, Dr. McKay."

_Nice, level tone, no snapping... Good, Elizabeth._

"We brought a few of the major systems back on line, mostly to do with the gate. When we did, Dr. Yamas finally spotted why it all keeps crashing. There's a virus in the Atlantis computer. By the degree of infiltration, it looks like its been there for quite a while, maybe as much as six months. Its going to take some time to lock it down and get rid of it."

"The Trust." Lorne said flatly.

"That would be my guess, yes. Though why it waited to trigger until now... Take your best guess on that one." A slight twist of the mouth broadcast Rodney McKay in pessimist mode for an instant.

Then a voice from the door, cold, determined, brought us all around in shock.

"That would be a deliberate attack he triggered when he came through the gate. And he's not done yet."

"_John!_" I breathed in shock, taking in the figure seated in a wheelchair at the door.

He was dressed in his uniform, with his sidearm even sitting on his lap, but his face was as white as the cap of an ocean wave, making a stark contrast to his midnight dark hair. For a long moment, all I could think was that he was a ghost. Then our gazes locked, hazel to brown. The look in his eyes was one I'd only witnessed once, and prayed never to see again. The cold, hard, calculating steel that calmly shot Koyla right past my ear without a seconds hesitation. I almost pitied anyone who got in his way right now.

_Just hope it doesn't have to be me. Or Carson. He looks like death warmed over._

"Bethany? What's goin' on? The Colonel shouldna be outta bed!" Carson was focused on the petite steely haired doctor pushing the wheelchair, whom I had momentarily overlooked.

She just shook her head gently at her boss, as if she were disappointed in him, while keeping one hand firmly on John's shoulder, forcing him to stay seated.

"I didn't really have a choice, Carson. Between his stubborn streak and the information that he needs to give all of you, I thought this was the best way. I suggest you listen to him first." Quickly, she parked the wheelchair next to me at the table, then fixed her passenger with the same stern, motherly gaze. "As for you, stay in the chair and try to stay calm. Getting upset will just re-inflame your symptoms and then the only thing you'll be able to do is lie in an infirmary bed!" With a curt nod at the rest of us, the tiny dynamo swept back out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"John? Care to explain?" For once, I didn't bother to ask how he was feeling, knowing I wouldn't like the response even if I got one.

"The attack at the Trade Meet, the computer virus, the attack on Allie. It's all the work of the same man, Carson's pseudo-nurse who disappeared. He's still here, somewhere in Atlantis, waiting for me to confront him. He was in the infirmary not too long ago and left something for me on the bed."

Stiffly, he leaned forward, a large knife caked in dried blood landing with a thud right in front of me. I saw recognition flare in the eyes of his team.

"What-?"

"The knife which killed the priest at the Meet." Teyla gazed at the thing in horror, reaching past me to pick it up and begin examining it around. "He is challenging you."

"Look at the blade, Teyla." He told her quietly, face absolutely expressionless.

Seeing me leaning toward her, the woman held up the item between us so that it could be carefully scrutinized. Concentrating, I barely registered the quiet scrape of the other chairs in the room being pulled back and the others clustering behind us.

"It's all bloody. Gross." Rodney, right in my ear.

"There's something written on the blade. There." Ronon pointed to a spot near the top of the flat side, just under the cross bar. "Can't read it, though."

Finally, my eyes were able to pick out the engraving, partially obscured by the blood, and my heart tried to climb once again into my throat. In English were two words.

JUSTICE

MURDERER


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Best Laid Plans John's POV

Silently, I sat, waiting, knowing the reactions would come, and the questions. The ones I didn't have any answers to. Who was this man? Why did he hate me so much? Call me a murderer? My stomach knotted, warring between fury at the damage this madman had already done, and fear of what he may dig up. There were so many regrets, so many mistakes in my past that I wanted to stay buried. Especially here, where I'd gotten the second chance, the fresh start, I had thought was beyond my reach after Afghanistan. So, now I watched as my friends examined the object that could be tearing holes in the walls protecting me from my demons.

Predictably, Rodney was the first to say anything. "Somebody _really_ doesn't like you. What'd you do, steal his ascended girlfriend?"

Normally, I would have had an equally smart ass answer to _that._ It was an effective way of defusing tension that Rodney and I had down to an art form, but this time I just stared at him.

"I don't know. But it ends now."

I saw him flinch hard at the cold edge to my voice, taking an unconscious step back and knocking into an equally shocked Carson. I just didn't care. Elizabeth, however, was giving me a penetrating stare, eyes narrowed suspiciously. I met her head on.

"Elizabeth, this is a military situation, correct?"

It was more of a statement, a respectful warning of my intentions, then a question. I had a great deal of respect for this woman, this diplomat who offered hope and friendship to all, but had proved she could lead with an iron fist when necessary. The _last _thing I ever wanted to do again was undermine her publicly, but I also needed her to allow me to take the lead on this one.

"What do you need done, Colonel Sheppard?"

Softly, I let out the breath I had been holding. In that simple question was all the trust, the foundation of the friendship, the partnership, that we had built in the last two years. She would follow my lead.

_Elizabeth, you never cease to amaze me. _

I felt the tension that had filled the room with my original question drop just the slightest bit at her calm answer. Many of those here knew the history behind those simple remarks, knew how painful it had been for both of us to find the balance we now had. Unfortunately, that tension wouldn't be staying gone for long. What I was about to say next would lead to explosions from at least two of them, especially since my legs were still shaky enough that I really hadn't been able to object when Dr. Kirran insisted that I use the wheelchair. Of course, I really didn't have much control over what I'd have to do, either. At the moment, my unknown enemy was on the offensive, while I was strictly on the defense deep within my own territory. Not a good position in the military _or _football. I needed to turn this around, fast, before anyone else was hurt or killed because of me.

"Rodney, can you pull up a map of Atlantis on your pad along with which systems are operational at the moment?"

With a contemptuous snort, he retrieved the requested item.

"Of course I can. And speaking of systems, _how _did the man who thinks computer repair involves fire arms lock down the gate shield! While playing zombie in the infirmary, I might add!"

Rodney was _definitely_ a little put out with me over that one. Too bad I didn't have the luxury of drawing this one out, I could have had tons of fun with it. Instead, I needed to answer him without giving away the precious secret I carried to any unfriendly ears potentially listening. The slightest hint of a smile quirked up the side of my mouth as I recalled the _real _reason I'd woken so suddenly...

_Earlier..._

_With an almost audible snap, I was fully conscious once again. Only I wasn't in the Atlantis infirmary. Quickly, I stood, eyes darting around the familiar room. Did I dare to hope?_

_"Allie?"_

_For a long moment, I stood in the silence, grief beginning to well up once again. Then..._

_"John?"_

_Her call was so weak that I almost didn't hear it. Fear jolted me into movement, frantically searching the balcony area futilely until I recalled where I had found her once before. Kneeling down, almost not daring to look, I peered under the main computer console. Two large, terrified, pain-filled blue eyes met mine. Allie. Alive._

_I barely felt it as my body crashed into part of the console, no longer responding to my commands to stay upright. My vision grayed for a long moment, then small hands were patting my cheeks, tear-filled voice frantic._

_"Please stay with me! I need you! Please, John!"_

_Gathering my will, I forced myself back once more just as little arms went around me, squeezing with all their might. Gently, I hugged her back. A gasp of pain, however, had me struggling to prop myself up, to push her away to examine her._

_Firmly, she shook her head, stopping me. "I'm okay. Just really scared. That man wants to kill you and I don't understand **why**! You help people!"_

_"I don't know either, Allie." I reached out and lightly brushed the tears from her pink cheeks, noting with alarm the strained white cast to her features. "Did he hurt you?"_

_Her head instantly dropped, hiding her face from me. I had to strain to hear her whispered answer. "He hurt Atlantis and he hurt you. I...I couldn't stand it, so I cut myself off from everything, I **ran**. I'm sorry, I should have been there to help you!"_

_I closed my eyes, pulling her back into a tight hug, heart quaking at the thought of what might have been. My little girl..._

_"No sorry's. You did exactly what I told you to do. I'm so proud of you, kiddo." My hand cupped her chin, forcing her to look me in the eye. "If they get Atlantis fixed, will you be all right?"_

_"Yes. There's just so much damage right now, so many systems down. And the power surges...they **hurt.** It makes me weak. I sealed the gate, though. He was gonna take you through!"_

_The self-satisfied smirk on her face was one that I was very familiar with. Except I usually only saw it in a mirror. A wave of fatigue washed through me again, threatening to pull me away. Must have been because of my injuries somehow..._

_"Just what did you do?" I grated out, fighting to stay with her just a little longer._

_"I locked the shield with your command codes, like that snake-guy did with **his **program. Now you can go get rid of the mean guy an' he won't be able to hurt anyone again."_

_The absolute, innocent faith of that nonchalant statement momentarily took my breath away. The unshakable trust of a child, even a computerized one, never ceased to amaze me. I was here, the adult, so everything would be fine. She didn't have any doubts any longer. It scared me to death._

_"Allie, I don't want you tangling with this guy again. He's proved he'll go after you and I need to know that you're safe, okay? I want you to tuck yourself back into that corner you found and stay there until this is over."_

_She stiffened, lip puffing out in an angry pout. _

_"I can help!"_

_Another wave of dizziness, tugging me down..._

_"No! You help by being safe! Promise me!"_

_The last thing I saw before waking in the infirmary to Bethany Kirran's frantic shaking was one reluctant nod of a curly blond head._

Present...

"I had a _wee _bit of help with that one, Dr. Smartypants."

I could almost see the gears begin turning in McKay's head as he puzzled _that _one out. First, the slack jaw with the eyes to the side, thinking, then the flash of comprehension, and lastly, the annoyed look directed at me.

"You mean... She..."

"Yes." I cut off further comment with a quick shake of the head, knowing the 'run of the mouth' disease that the scientist suffered from. Surprisingly, the man seemed to be genuinely relieved to get the news. I had thought that Allie truly drove him nuts!

"At least _something _has gone right." Elizabeth ghosted me a smile before the somber mood descended on the room once more. "What are you suggesting we do?"

I sighed, "Gather everyone here, in the Central Command Tower, then seal it off from the rest of the city. That should give our own people protection, as well as an escape route if things go _really _wrong. Shut down and take all the Naquadah generators with you, as well as the ZPM. If we can limit what this guy can do, I may be able to deal with him before we lose any more lives."

I sat back and chaos erupted.

"Sir, without back-up, you'll be a sitting duck! We can form teams to-"

"John Sheppard, if you _think_ for one _moment_ that I'm letting you take on a madman _alone-_"

"Son, ya can't possibly-"

"-Colonel Martyr! You're not indestructible!"

"-believe this to be a wise course. We may-"

"You won't go alone, Sheppard."

The voices, words, overlapped and fought with each other, but all said essentially the same thing. They wouldn't allow me to face this madman alone. The problem was I didn't agree with them.

"Listen!" My sharp shout tore through the babble, bringing them all back around to stare at me. Once again, I focused on Elizabeth, my leader, my support, my friend.

_A very angry one right now, however._

Her body stance was rigid, arms firmly crossed, jaw tightened, eyes flashing. Usually when I saw her like that, I found an excuse to be on another planet as fast as possible. Not that those excuses ever _worked_...

"This guy, for whatever reason, wants _me_. Anyone who gets in his way has wound up _dead_ and I'm not going to put any more lives at risk! He _killed_ the two marines guarding me in the infirmary without anyone even noticing just because they were in the way when he wanted to leave me his damn message! I need-"

"Colonel Sheppard!"

I jumped as my ear piece, which I didn't even remember putting on, went off.

"WHAT!" I growled, then sharply reined in my temper. "This is Sheppard."

"Sir, its Lieutenant Thomas. I'm on the security sweep by your quarters. There's something here you really need to see, Colonel."

_Hell, what now?_

"I'll be right there, Lieutenant."

I started to get up, only to be pressed firmly back into my seat by several hands.

"Oh no ya don't, son. We're all goin' and yer ridin' in the chair."

"I'll take him, Carson."

Elizabeth steered me out the door, leaving me no choice but to enjoy the ride, or risk a broken ankle by trying to jump out. Grinding my teeth in irritation, I settled on the former idea. Without a word, I was pushed into the transporter, Elizabeth and Carson crowding in with me, to the apparent disgust of Ronon. The Satedan looked ready to reach in and yank Beckett firmly out when the doctor hit the button.

One flash of light and a few seconds later, the doors opened and we moved out into... a room I instantly recognized as being on the far uninhabited side of Atlantis. Then the power went off and we were left in absolute darkness.

"This guy is _really_ starting to _piss _me off!"


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: ...Best Served... Bryan's POV

The fool had fallen for it. It was finally time to finish this- slowly. It hadn't been hard to ambush the young lieutenant and grab his com once they had fixed the transporters for me. Then, a quick message had _him _coming to _me_, just as I wanted. I had wished to take the guilty one alone, but it didn't really matter at this point. If they got in my way, they would die as well. I watched as they exited, saw the shock and dawning horror on the murderer's face as he realized where they were. Their stumbling in the sudden darkness amused me, knowing that with my night vision goggles, I could easily make the shot. End this once and for all right here, right now.

_No! Don't you dare, Bryan! Let him suffer, let him hope, then rip it away, to let him die just short of safety as I did!_

Yes... Breeanna was right, just as she always was. I would do as she wanted and everything would turn out as planned. That was the way it had to be. The way that it had always been...

Calm spread through my body as I carefully triggered the next program on my purloined laptop. Idly, I wondered how long it would take that fool, McKay, to realize one of his precious generators was gone. Probably quite a while. The man tended to miss what was right under his nose. With a soft hum, limited lighting began to come up in our section, as well as the climate control systems. A chill would soon be in the air. Like Colorado on a cold, clear winter day...

_Time to confront him. Make sure he knows why he dies this day._

Closing the laptop and scooting it quietly out of the way, I knelt in the shadows of the balcony across and just above them, watching. One hand clenched two small objects tightly, the metal edges biting painfully into my fingers. They were cold, icy, just as they had been since the day they were finally given to me. They would be warm soon, though...

In blood.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: First Engagement John's POV

Darkness.

At first, I thought that my optic nerves had decided to go on vacation again, then I heard Carson stumble and curse. The man really had no sense of balance in the dark at all. Not good. One hand unconsciously sought out my weapon as the other came up to tap my com.

"Sheppard to McKay."

Nothing. _Definitely _not good.

Then the lighting came up around us, dim, but enough to see by. My two companions were standing near me in the center of the room, blinking dazedly.

_Light! Shit! Vulnerable! **Way beyond **not good!_

Jolting up out of the chair, I sent it crashing backward into the transporter door and grabbed the other two, shoving them across the room ahead of me. I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my system, gifting me temporarily with the strength and agility I hadn't had just moments ago. He was here, somewhere, and we were sitting ducks.

_How could I have been so **stupid!**_

"Move! Against the wall behind that console! NOW!"

I had just fallen for one of the oldest ambush tactics in the book. Trick your target into coming to you, in an area where you can easily isolate him and pick him off from a sheltered perch. I had just walked right into it, never questioning that the lieutenant on the com, a newbie I didn't know well at all, was who he said he was. Now, two more people, good friends, were going to die because of _me_, pay the price for _my _mistake. The only advantage that I had at this point, the one thing that _might _save all our asses, was that this section of Atlantis was one I knew well. During my daily runs, alone and now with Ronon, I had explored almost every inch of this area. My opponent had only been posted to Atlantis for only a little over a month before his first attempt to kill me, so maybe, _just maybe_, I had an edge. I just needed to find a way to use it.

"Colonel?" Carson whispered softly in my ear. Even in that one word, I could hear the doctor's fear.

"I don't know. We're on the far side of Atlantis from where we're supposed to be and I have no doubt that he's out there. You two stay here until I tell you to move, no matter what happens."

I needed to get all of us to a more defensible position, but, naturally enough, the door I wanted was across an eight foot area where we'd be wide open. Before I could move, though, I heard it again. That same cold, hateful voice from the infirmary.

"_Killer!_ It's time to face _justice _for what you've done!"

I snorted with annoyance at that one. The guy sounded like a broken record. Unfortunately, the acoustics in the room were terrible, his voice echoing so much that all I could tell was that he was on one of the levels above us. Crap. Once again, very bad for the defense.

"Ya know, you're really startin' to _tick me off _with that! I'm not the one going around murdering everyone who gets in my way!"

"John! What are you _doing_!" Elizabeth hissed, sounding like she was beginning to doubt _my _sanity.

"Wait!" I snapped, not bothering to try explaining the value of an emotionally off-balance enemy.

_Come on, you arrogant SOB, one little fumble..._

"_You _killed my sister! And for what! So no one would know you made a _mistake_!"

"Okay, _what the-_!" I muttered, now thoroughly confused. "Who _are _you!"

There was an angry snarl at that, and my eyes began tracking a small object flying through the air.

_Gotcha!_

The sharp report of my 9 millimeter filled the chamber, having tracked the arc of the object to calculate its point of origin.

_Score one for basic geometry._

A soft thud and a muffled cry announced my success. Taking advantage of my opponent's distraction, I scrambled quickly out several feet to retrieve the thrown object, hoping to get some solid answers. I already knew from hearing it land what I _thought _it was- a pair of dog tags.

"Colonel! What the bloody hell do you think yer doin'!" Carson, panicked.

Unfortunately, it was now my turn to make a fumble. It _should _have been simple enough for me to grab the tags and return to cover in a matter of seconds. Had I been completely healthy. Pain spiked through my back, taking my breath away- and causing my legs to fold underneath me like wet paper. I hit the floor with a dull thud, head bouncing solidly off the metal. For a long moment, my vision consisted of darkness and flashing sparks. Distantly, through the roaring in my ears, I heard frantic calls. What...? Who was with me? Carson and Elizabeth! If they tried to come out after me... My tongue was an unresponsive lump in my throat, unwilling to obey my commands to call out, tell them to _stay put_! Even as I struggled to regain control, to scramble to safety, I braced myself for the blow of the bullet that would end my life. Only, if by some miracle, my one shot had seriously wounded him...

I should have known my luck wasn't that good.

More pain, hot and sizzling- _but just through my left shoulder!_

That seemed to kick my body into action, scrambling backwards, heedless of the direction. Hands! Hands grabbed, pulled me across the remaining space, stopping when I was once more in the reassuring embrace of the shadows cast by the dead console. Head swimming, I lay there, waiting for my pain threshold to kick in and suppress the pain, allowing me to function. Slowly, the sharp bite of the metal clenched in my hand over road the hot poker through my shoulder. Blinking, Carson's face appeared right above me, mouth moving but no sound coming through. Then everything came back, sharp and clear.

"Son, can ya hear me?"

"Yeah, give me a minute here, Carson."

Ignoring my companions, I pulled myself up against the console with my right hand, noting that I still had my weapon tightly held there. At least _something _worked out right. Grimly, I forced my left to unclench, releasing the dog tags I held there. The first thing I did was look for a name, and my breath caught, hard.

_Breeanna Trental_.

"Oh _shit._" Remembered pain and grief surged through me, and my eyes clenched shut tightly in reaction, a honey-brown haired face ghosting up from my memory.

"Bryan! I didn't kill her, it was a damned accident, you _know _that!" The two doctors looked at me in utter shock at my sudden enraged roar.

"The hell you didn't, you filthy liar! She wouldn't have made a mistake like that! _You _didn't want her to tell the Academy what a cheating screw-up you were! You left her to _die! Alone! _I _heard _you say it was your fault!"

My heart sank at the barely coherent reply. Bryan Trental obviously wasn't going to listen to a single thing I said. The bright young man who had been so devoted to his twin sister, so hopeful of a better future when she had graduated from the Air Force Academy...

_Oh, Breeanna, what have you done? You wouldn't have wanted this for him. Your Bryan is gone, and a monster has been left in his place. I'm so sorry..._

"John?"

A hesitant voice broke through my thoughts, bringing my attention back to my companions. Carson was holding a cloth of some sort to my shoulder and I hadn't even felt it. Elizabeth was crouched behind him, eyes locking with mine in a mute question.

I sighed, not really wanting to revisit those awful months, but knowing that I had no choice. They deserved to know why people were dying.

"Bryan Trental had a twin sister that I went to the Air Force Academy with. She was an exceptional chopper pilot, and we wound up flying together a lot. As senior cadets, we were sent out on flights, mock-missions, into the Rockies, and one time Breeanna started hot dogging a little too much. She went down. By the time I got above the site, all I saw was a fire ball as the copter's fuel tank blew. She should have stayed in the area, left us a sign that she was walking out, _something_! But she didn't. We didn't know she'd survived the crash, and..." I hesitated for a long moment, stomach twisting at the thought of what happened next. "Some hikers found her body three months later, only yards outside of the town nearest the crash site. She died...hard."

I couldn't, didn't, conceal the guilt that I felt. I still had nightmares about circling that site for hours, only to leave when my own fuel ran out, minutes too soon to see her emerge from the trees. Why? _Why_ had she left the site? She knew protocol, knew I would never leave her unless I was certain she was dead, _right_? To leave someone behind, abandoned...

"I swore that day, when they buried her body, her second funeral, _never again_. I would not bury another person that I could have saved, no matter what." I said it more to myself than to my friends.

"Ya can't blame yerself for _that_, Colonel. It sounds like the lass made some mistakes..." The Scot was frowning at me, clearly angry, though I wasn't quite sure who at.

"So did I, Carson. She was my wingman, my responsibility, and I just _assumed _she was dead when I saw the explosion. I should have been _sure_, and now more people are dead because I didn't."

Wincing, I felt myself being drawn down into the depths by the weight of my injuries. It was irresistible, yet I pressed, fighting to stay conscious, to protect them as I had failed to protect Breeanna so long ago. Gasping, I pressed my weapon into Elizabeth's hand.

"Take it! You _have _to keep him away from us, Elizabeth." I saw the objections instantaneously rising in her eyes. "Just...fire the damn thing in his general direction if you have to. I can't... I'm failing you..."

Elizabeth's eyes flashed a warning. "No, _you _aren't responsible for any of this! Rodney's right about you, John! You go _looking_ for guilt!"

_Well, no doubt as to who **she **was mad at. _

Uncomfortable with the entire discussion, I sat silently, trying to decide how to respond.

"Do me one favor, Elizabeth?" I finally whispered, trying to ignore Carson, who was once again fussing at my shoulder with what little he had for medical supplies in his pocket. At least he'd managed to loose the bloody pen light somewhere.

One eyebrow arched at me. "What, John?"

"Never, _ever,_ tell Rodney he was actually right about me!"

Mercifully, I blacked out before she had a chance to reply.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Shades of Gray John's POV

It was a pleasant unexpected surprise to find myself regaining consciousness apparently all in one piece. Well, if you didn't count the hole I could feel in my shoulder. I could live with that, if I could figure out where I was and what had gone wrong _this _time. First, the where.

I was laying flat on the floor, head pillowed on what was probably somebody's jacket. Another one was thrown over me, but I could still feel my body shaking. Shock or was this room actually that cold?

_Been there done this one way too many times._

Slowly, I turned my head, trying to locate anyone else. Carson and Elizabeth were sitting a few feet away, quietly talking. Neither one looked to be in any trouble, which was definitely a good thing. Somebody around here had to be functional, and it obviously wasn't me at the moment. In fact, the few movements I'd made already seemed to exhaust my store of energy, so I decided to lay there, trying to jump start my mind. I was feeling a little...fuzzy.

"-still feel guilty about letting that happen. Everything used to be so black and white, right and wrong, now..." Elizabeth.

"Lass, I just don't see how ya had any choice in the matter. It was the bugger's own fault for not cooperatin' with ya in the first place. As fer the shades of gray in this galaxy, well...yer talkin' to one of the experts at finding them. There are some days I donna know how I can stand ta stay here, let alone step through that bloody gate again. Every time I do, it seems like all I bring is disaster with me."

"You do a lot of good, Carson. I can't imagine this place without you. I've lost count of how many times you've saved the lives of our Troublesome Twosome."

"Aye, they _do _seem to step in it a wee bit too often, don't they?" A weary sigh. "This isna really about Kavanaugh, is it luv?"

"No. Carson, I honestly don't know if I could use this thing at all, let alone aim it at another person. But if I don't... I _swore_ I would never pick up a weapon, would fight to make them unnecessary, and now what I am doing? Leading a base of operations in a war and contemplating actually _firing a gun!_ The lines I've crossed..."

My gut knotted at hearing that, flashes informing me of just what was going on as my brain finally woke up. Shit. I needed to be up and functional, _now_. I had a great deal of respect for these two people, but out of everyone on Atlantis, they were the _last _two I would want to be stuck in our current situation with. Even Rodney would do better with a gun in this situation, if he could ever remember which switch was the safety and which one released the clip. That man had a great deal of bravery when you dug deep enough. These two... To be fair, Carson carried a weapon while off-world and I knew he was even a passable shot with it, something that must have occurred to Elizabeth as well.

"How do you do it, Carson? I _know _you've actually shot at the Wraith before, and you carried a weapon when the Genii had the city."

The silence stretched for several minutes while the man thought and I began forcing my body to actually respond to my commands. So far, neither of them had noted my return to consciousness, which was probably just as well.

"What's the first part of the Hippocratic Oath, Elizabeth?"

"First do no harm."

"Aye. And if I stood around and let someone shoot my patient when I could have stopped them, that would definitely be harm, wouldn't it? It's the worst nightmare of any doctor, and the first one you'd better reconcile yerself with if yer in a war zone. It's the same way I came to terms with that proposal I left on yer desk. I donna like it, but its better than sittin' around watchin' both sides die."

"I don't know, Carson..."

"It might help if ya actually _talked_ ta John about it, luv. He'll not judge ya for yer views, and might help ya with a different perspective. I know he helped me a lot dealin' with that bloody virus. There was a while right after... well, I wanted ta destroy the thing, but- Colonel!"

I bit back a second moan as I forced myself to continue sitting up, right hand immediately coming over to support my protesting left limb. Carson and Elizabeth were both beside me, then, gently supporting, easing me back to lean against the console that sheltered us. My teeth clenched my lower lip hard and eyes swam with tears of pain that had me blinking rapidly.

"Easy now, son, just relax. We're safe here for the moment."

Elizabeth's face swam into view in front of mine, but the words were in my favorite doc's Scottish brogue. Nice trick.

_You and I are going to have a long, unpleasant conversation when we get out of this, Elizabeth. This galaxy is just too dangerous not to carry **something** for self-defense. Hell, lately we haven't even had to leave Atlantis!_

"Bryan?" I grated out, wishing Carson didn't feel it immediately necessary to start prodding my wounded shoulder. Another twinge and I jerked away, almost landing back on the floor. "Doc! Knock it off! I need to think straight!"

Which I was finding difficult once again. The fuzzy feeling was back, and dragged a friend along, nausea.

"I'm bloody well goin' ta make sure ya don't bleed ta death! It took almost an hour ta get it stopped the first time an' I don't want ya ta reopen it! Now sit still!"

Chastened, I sat, allowing him to shove a few more pieces of white material down my shirt in both the front and the back. One glance at his rather tattered lab coat told me where they'd come from. At least there seemed to be wounds on both sides. A through and through. Good. Just maybe that meant the bullet hadn't hit anything vital, which it would have if it had hit a bone and ricocheted. I needed that shoulder.

"Bryan?" With a deep breath to resettle my head and stomach, I managed to focus on the current situation.

"We don't know. Carson and I both tried talking to him, but the only response that we got was a bullet clearly aimed to miss. That was several hours ago."

"Great." I didn't clarify which part I referred to with that single sarcastic word, the trying to negotiate with a homicidal maniac, the hours I was unconscious, or the sudden apparent lack of said wacko. "What's he waiting for? He must have known I was down."

I shifted carefully, trying to peer around the corner of the console. An empty room, not that I really expected anything else. The man may have left his sanity in another universe, but he wasn't _stupid._ Though he _was _still intent on playing some sick game with me, which wasn't tactically smart. Once an enemy is neutralized, you make sure he stays that way, not leave him free to recover and come at you again. Maybe he was trying to wait me out, knowing I'd have to try for the door at some point? Risky, with Ronon and Rodney probably tearing the city apart trying to find us. The thought of what my large team mate might do to the ex-nurse was rather appealing, though. There wouldn't be much left, but the clean-up might suck.

"Give me my gun, Elizabeth."

She jerked away from my reaching hand, gripping the requested item tightly to her, and I almost laughed. For a woman who detested the things, she was certainly very possessive of it all of a sudden.

"And just _what _do you think you're going to do with it? I doubt you could even stand up right now, John!"

An exchange of pointedly alarmed looks between the two doctors had me grinding my teeth again. They were _handling _me! They actually thought they needed to protect me from myself!

"Getting us out of here. Trust me, Elizabeth, I'm very fond of being alive at the moment. It's too much fun driving Rodney insane for me to do anything idiotically self-sacrificing."

A guilty glance told me I'd pegged that one.

_You brought it on yourself, too, you idiot, with all the stupid crap you've pulled over the last two years. Note to self- I really gotta stop that!_

Another exchange of mute communication and she held out my weapon, both of them steadying me as I wavered again.

"Bryan! Talk to me! Breeanna wouldn't want this!"

Silence. All I could hear was my own harsh breathing. Okay, time to try tactic number two.

"She's the only one responsible for her death, you know. She knew survival procedures and she didn't follow them! I wouldn't have left her if I'd known she was alive, not for anything! She deserved top pilot and I wouldn't have done anything to take it away from her."

Nothing. Either he had more control left then I thought or something was off. Tactic three.

"Breeanna was reckless and dangerous when she flew! She was showing off, that's why she crashed!"

_'He isn't there anymore. I don't know where he went. I can only see this one room right now.'_

The soft words almost caused me to black out, as welcome as they were. Struggling against the renewed pain in my head, as well as the worry of someone else, I felt myself being grabbed and supported.

_Thanks, kiddo. We'll talk about your inability to follow directions **later**._

Shaking my head, I took a firmer grip on my gun, grabbed somebody's shoulder, and struggled to stand. Hands aided me, even while Elizabeth's alarmed voice rang in my ear.

"John! You can't!"

"Allie says he's gone, probably depending on caution and our lousy position to keep us here until he returns. We need to leave, now."

"Aye, we can get the wheelchair an'-"

"No, leave it." At Carson's protesting look, I sighed. "I need to be mobile and maybe it will have him falling for his own trick for a little while, give us the start we need to escape. He knows you, Carson. He'll expect you to insist on taking it with me injured." At the man's reluctant nod, I met both their gazes, straightening determinedly. "We move as quietly as possible and stay together."

_Please. I just need the strength to get them out of here. Then I can pass out._

Without waiting for a reply, I pushed off the machinery and began wobbling across the room, knowing it would force them to follow. Sure enough, Carson was on my left before I got more than a few steps, and Elizabeth was firmly planted on my right a second later, arm slipping around my waist in support. Together, we made it to the door, which silently slid open at our approach. Quietly, I drew away from them, standing to one side where I had the best view of the area we were about to move into. Several long minutes passed before I waved Elizabeth and Carson up to me.

"I want you two to go through first while I stay in a cover position. There's no sign of him, but there are several side rooms not far from here. Get to the first one and stay there until I come, then we'll move again. Avoid open spaces as much as possible."

At my nod, Elizabeth went through then flattened herself against the wall of the corridor, deep in the shadows. One down, two to go. Carson started through next, just as the shot rang out. I saw him freeze in shock and swore, starting to move for him even as the warning rang in my head.

_'John! He shot the door trigger!'_

The heavy metal and glass portal was descending at an alarming rate, aimed right at the rooted doctor. Without a word, I pushed off, launching into a tackle that took the man around the middle, sending us both sprawling across the corridor floor. My hand lost its grip on my gun, which I saw go spinning, fervently hoping it wouldn't go off. With a jerk of pure agony, my foot was caught and held for a long moment by the door, stopping my forward momentum. Breath stolen by the horrific pain washing through me, I lay there limply, fighting off encroaching blackness in my vision. Carson, however, slid several more feet into Elizabeth, sending them both into a pile of arms and legs.

Then Bryan was on top of me, a knife sticking out of my already wounded shoulder.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: ...Winter Cold. Bryan's POV

I knew I had him now. The shoulder wound would keep him where I wanted him for now, along with his precious procedures. If it were just the criminal alone, I wouldn't have considered leaving, but I knew that he wouldn't risk the other two. Not like he had been willing to risk Breeanna.

The rage had built in me all during his little explanation to the others of who my sister had been. I'd heard it all, and couldn't believe the way he had twisted reality around to suit himself. There was no way that Bree would have taken such risks, been so stupid with her life! She knew that I depended on her!

_Of course I would never leave you, Bry. He was jealous of me, of my abilities. That's why he left me to die in the mountains, so cold..._

"He's dying now, Bree."

_Find the first aid kit and take care of your side, Bry. Its almost time to finish this. I want to feel the warmth of his blood as it seeps out. Those other two won't stop us. Not now._

Feeling peace flooding through me once more, I made my way through the dark halls to the room I had made into my base of operations. There, I gently cleaned the deep gash in my side, still not sure how the man could possibly have hit someone he couldn't see. _That _had been a rather unpleasant shock. Stupid fly boy.

This part of Atlantis felt as empty as the mountains as I moved back to where the murderer awaited his punishment. I could hear the echo of each footfall, feel the crisp cold snap to the air, smell just the slightest hint of the vast water nearby. Had things been different, I might have been able to find a home here, in this wondrous city and all its unexplored potential. There was power here, vast and untapped. Breeanna would have loved the Puddle jumpers. They were any pilot's dream...

I scowled, my good mood vanishing at the reminder of the man I had once thought a friend. I still remembered him including me in the jokes shared around the table by the cadets at one of their gatherings, the pieces of older brother advice he offered from time to time. Breeanna had said once that you couldn't get a more loyal friend than John Sheppard. That only made my rage burn hotter at his ultimate betrayal. Rounding the last corner to the room, I felt my heart rate jump in anticipation.

Only to jolt to a halt at the sight of Carson Beckett about to go through the open door.

_NOOO!_

Quickly, without a thought, I drew my stolen weapon and shot into the door mechanism, which blew with a satisfying burst of sparks. The door began to drop quickly, no longer controlled by Atlantis' systems, aimed right for my former boss. Most likely it would kill him. Too bad, the man was a decent doctor. However, at the last moment, that infuriating colonel came flying through the doorway, taking down Carson with him. That sent the man flying, knocking over Weir, whom I hadn't even seen in the shadows. They, in turn, knocked into me, and I dropped my gun as I quickly backed away.

My enemy, though, was trapped on the floor, foot having been caught by the falling door. With a snarl of satisfaction, I grabbed my knife and was on him as he rolled onto his back, planting it solidly in the shoulder. I heard him gasp in pain, apparently not having the breath to scream. Warm blood spilled over my hands in a wave of red.

"Warmth, Bree!"

A boot was suddenly planted into my middle and I doubled over, gasping myself now. The man had more fight in him than I thought. Then the blows were coming fast and furious, our limbs tangling with each other. I felt his blood on my knuckles, felt a warm copper flow erupt in my own mouth from a lucky shot of his. An elbow connected with my eye, and I got in another jab to his ribs, hearing an audible crack for my efforts. He was weakening, reflexes slowing. He knew it, too, I could see the fear of impending death in his eyes. His hands sought my throat in desperation and I grabbed on, finding myself suddenly running short on air. Then my eye lit on the knife hilt still sticking out of his shoulder. With a one quick move, I rammed it deeper, watching as he spasmed in pain, hands losing their grip. I grabbed a chunk of that wild hair and slammed his head back into the floor, hearing the clunk and seeing the glaze of unconsciousness spread over his eyes even as he went limp in my hold. With a satisfied grunt, I stood slowly up, grabbing a 9 millimeter off the floor nearby.

"Can I kill him, now, Bree?"

There was a plaintive, whiny little brother quality to my voice that made me pause for a moment. Breeanna hated it when I talked like that.

_Yes. It is time, Bryan, after all these years. Shoot him. Let justice be done so that I can rest in peace. I'm warm now._

With a single deep breath just short of a sob, I stood, taking careful aim at the head of the man who had taken my life away from me so long ago. I could see him fighting to stay conscious, eyes fluttering, unfocused.

"You die for the abandonment and death of Bree-"

"Even think of pulling that trigger and you'll die too." A strong woman's voice, determined, angry.

"Breeanna?" I gasped, then turned around to find myself facing a trembling Doctor Elizabeth Weir, gun held firmly pointed at my head.

_She won't shoot. She can't. Ignore her, Bryan. She's not a threat._  
With a dismissive sneer, I began to turn back to the one I was going to kill, only to hear the gun actually go off. A burning erupted along the side of my head. She had actually shot me! I don't know who looked more shocked, her or me. Then something solid thudded into me, sending me pitching forward to my knees, pain erupting through my back and chest. I twisted around, suddenly icy cold, to see John Sheppard sitting up, supported by Carson Beckett, the knife no longer sticking out of his shoulder. It was the last thing I ever saw.

A/N: This is almost done now. A little bit of wrap up and some soul searching on Elizabeth's part. Besides, it would have been cruel to leave you guys with that last cliffhanger.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Morals and Mortality Weir's POV

I sat there, watching him sleep, deep, peaceful, _healing_. We had almost lost him again. Even with Allie alerting the others to where we were, it was almost too late. The knife blade had nicked an artery when he pulled it out, and he was bleeding heavily. The crimson pool just kept growing underneath him, creeping across the floor, his breathing weaker...

Much like the madman who lay nearby in a pool of his own, knife sticking out of the center of his back. I still wasn't sure how John had managed _that _one, pulling it out and having the strength to throw it again. The man was incredible.

_Sheer desperation and adrenaline, more likely. The same way you picked up that gun._

I hadn't actually meant to shoot at all, still didn't remember making a conscious decision to do so. Carson kept insisting that I hadn't, that the weapon had a hair trigger and all I did was flinch. Some how that didn't really make me feel any better. I'd hit the guy, too. All I saw when I closed my eyes was the shocked look on Bryan's face, and blood on my hands. It shook me down to my very core.

_What have I become?_

Until I could answer that, I had no business trying to run a city, lead others, both civilian and military. Instead, I had been hiding here, by John's bed, keeping a silent vigil for three long, long days. Rodney had found excuses to come in often, when he wasn't buried in the repair work, but I rarely answered his hesitant attempts at conversation. I felt a little guilty about poaching his usual place beside John, until I noticed the watch-Satedan across the room from me. He never moved from his self-appointed post, either. Somehow, I had a feeling that Rodney and the rest of John's team were handling me, probably with the help of a certain Scot.

_Quit making me do this, John Sheppard. Sooner or later, not even you are going to beat the odds._

With a sigh, I thought about what Carson had said in that room. First do no harm, but what harm comes if you do nothing to stop the violence, the death? Even if that means you have to pick up a weapon. Besides, how many times had I ordered men to their deaths in the last two years? Or ordered them to kill others? Was I really that innocent any more? Ironic, that the famous diplomat dedicated to peace goes to another galaxy to explore 'the right way' and the first thing she encounters is an alien race that can't be negotiated with, that will consider no peaceful solutions. Hard to find a workable position when you're on the dinner menu.

"Hey."

A soft murmur made me look up, blinking to clear sleep-deprived eyes. A pair of hazel ones were assessing me.

"Hey, yourself. How are you feeling, John?"

With a slight smile, I leaned forward to brush some stray hairs from his eyes, then held a straw to his lips so that he could sip some water. That infamous grin stretched across his features for a moment, a little shaky, but there.

"I'm good, just a little sore. Are you and Carson both all right?"

_The man never changes. Perforated shoulder, nicked artery, infection, concussion, two cracked ribs and a deep bone bruise to the right leg and he immediately shrugs it off then asks about everyone else._

"We're fine. Carson tore some ligaments in his knee when you tackled him, so he'll be on crutches for a while. I should probably go get him."

I started to get up, only to have a hand latch firmly onto my wrist with a trace of the healthy Sheppard strength and speed.

"Elizabeth... Allie was talking to me for a while before I woke up. She's worried about you. She told me what she saw... what you did."

_Damn it, Allie._

"Children tend to over react to things, John, and this has to have shaken her up pretty good."

I tried a deflect, hoping to distract him with concerns about the child. I really was worried about her, too, since she hadn't spoken to anyone that I knew of in almost a day, but if she had been with John, that would make sense. I knew she was pretty confused by Bryan and his hatred of John, not to mention the whole issue of learning control over her own emotions.

"It did. She was giving Rodney and Dr. Jackson both a run for the title of quickest inexhaustible talker in two galaxies, but she was right about you. You don't look like you've slept in quite a while."

_This man is **way **too perceptive._

"I shot a man, John. I'll have to live with that." I consciously echoed his own words from so long ago about Sumner back to him, trying to show the depths to which my actions lately had affected me. "I've crossed another line, and I don't know if I can ever get back on the right side of it."

"You did what you had to do, just like last time. Life isn't black and white, no matter how much we want to make it that way." Those deep eyes watched me, and for just a second, I caught a glimpse of some of the torment in this man's soul. "Bryan's dead, isn't he?"

"Yes. You got him with the knife through a lung. He bled to death before anyone could get there to do anything."

_Not that Carson and I were exactly hurrying to try helping him when we had our hands full keeping you alive. As he said then, you treat the one most likely to survive first._

I saw the pain flash across his features, guilt and regret mingled in.

"You couldn't have saved him, John. He was completely insane. Kate Heightmeyer doesn't think he would have stopped until one of you was dead."

"Yeah. That's what happened, too. The poor kid never really had a chance, Elizabeth. Breeanna was the only family he had. He was completely dependent on her, and she... He didn't stand a chance."

"You did what you had to do." I repeated his own advice back, seeing the grimace it was met with. "Yeah, it didn't really help me that much, either. Guess we both need to work on our bedside manner."

A snort, followed quickly by a moan. "Oh! Elizabeth, please don't make me laugh! That hurts!"

"Aye, than stop doin' it! I thought you were comin' to get me the minute he woke up!" I flinched, guilt flashing across my face as I turned to face an irate Carson Beckett.

"We were talking a bit, Carson..."

That got ignored as I was gently pushed aside, the curtain closing firmly in my face. With a sigh, I turned to confront a silently amused Ronon, mouth twitching suspiciously.

"You should probably go tell the others that he's awake, or we'll never hear the end of it from Rodney."

That got a lazy blink and a tap on the screen of a notepad lying on the empty bed next to him. "The short one is taking care of it."

"The short-? Oh, Allie. Thanks, Ronon."

"He's right. You did what was necessary."

"I wish I could be as sure of that."

"Sure of what? Sheppard's going to be all right, isn't he? I thought that Carson said-" Rodney came up behind me so fast that I jumped, giving him an irritated glare.

"He'll be fine, Rodney. We all will, we just need some time."

A/N: Wow, that's another one finished. Can't believe it went so long! Thanks to all of you that stayed with me on this one. I left it a little unsettled because such moral questions never come with pat answers, even in fiction.


End file.
